Living Holiness: Holy and at Peace

In one aspect, sanctification is an act, a thing done at once, like justification. The moment the blood touches us—that is, as soon as we believe God’s testimony to the blood—we are “clean” (Joh 15:3), “sanctified,” set apart for God. . . .  As the vessels of the sanctuary were at once separated to God and His service the moment the blood touched them, so are we. This did not imply that those vessels required no daily ablution afterwards, so neither does our consecration intimate that we need no daily sanctifying, no inward process for getting rid of sin. The initiatory consecration through the blood is one thing, and the continual sanctifying by the power of the Holy Ghost is another.  (Bonar, Horatius, God's Way of Holiness, Ch.1)

Signs of Life

Simply put, holiness is one of the qualities of new life in a person.  As we learned in biology, living things have certain qualities.  They eat and grow.  They move and seek.  Inanimate objects may have some similarities, but they do not live.  New life in Christ, like all other kinds of life, has one source: the Creator.  One of the qualities of this new life is holiness.

Holiness is not defined so much by what it does, but by the one who does it.  God does holy things because he is holy.  It does not work the other way.  Just because a rock can roll do a hill like a child, it doesn't make the rock alive.  In the same way, certain actions may look holy, but if life from above does not inhabit them, they may be as dead as a rock in the realm of holiness.

One way of determining the liveliness of our holiness is with another quality: peace.  Holiness without peace is dead.  (Peace without holiness is empty, but that is another thing.)  The lack of peace in a life that has "holy" actions is easy to see.  There will likely be grumbling and burnout.  This kind of holiness does not flow from the person as it should, but it must be forced out through direct effort.

Peace is in a close conversation with holiness in the new life of a Christ follower.  They are inseparable, like close companions.  But peace comes before holiness in a person's life.  Not so much in timing, but by necessity.  True holiness will not come without peace, yet true peace with God and other people always brings holiness along.

Holiness Starts with Peace

So it is a good idea to talk about peace first, but never without talking about holiness.  In a life with God, a person cannot accept peace with God without accepting holiness as well.  They come together and will not be separated.  Peace with God is what makes room for holiness in a person's life.  They move in together into your heart, but the conversation starts with peace.

The conversation about new life begins with the realization that we are dead.  We may have a certain sort of peace, but not peace with God.  When we ask peace why it seems so far from us, we may find the answer is that we do not have a life where peace can exist.  We are dead to peace.  Peace says, "I come with Jesus."  Jesus says, "My peace I leave with you.  I do not give as the world gives."  True peace comes when we stop resisting Jesus.

God chooses to overcome our resistance thorugh love.  He does not roll over us, but seeks to earn our trust.  The cross plainly shows our resistance to God both corporately and individually.  Whether we attack or abandon Jesus, we live in resistance to him.  The cross also plainly shows God's desire and ability to make peace.  In the cross our resistance is encountered and overcome.  Our resistance does not stop God or his plans, but it does leave us out in the cold, dead to him and his Son.

Trust is the acceptance of God's love as well as a realization of his place in the universe.  We can give up on our resistance now out of responce to his love.  We need not wait until our resistance is overcome by God's obvious presence and power.  Then it will be too late.  He does not make us trust him because trust cannot be earned in that way.  He wants our faith, not mere obedience.  That is why in Christ we find that God's way is to draw us near to him through love rather than force.

When we trust him with our lives, we have become alive to him.  Trust, or faith, is our end of the experience of being born from above, receiving new life.  Only in this faith can peace exist and grow.  We cannot contiually resist God and have peace with him.  We must come to trust him in all his ways as well as in all our ways.  When we open the door to Jesus and his Father, we will find peace in their company and, as we grow, also in the company of other people.

Holiness Completes Peace

In the company of such peace, holiness also makes an appearance.  Peace without holiness cannot make any sense of the cross.  Peace without holiness does not count the cost of following Jesus.  Peace with God means war with sin.  Our resistance to God does not disappear without a fight.  Actually we only discover the depth of our resistance when we go to war against it.  Resisting God shows up as our many sins with which we are familiar: anger, lust, lethargy, disinterest, etc..

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.  Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us?  But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud, but shows favor to the humble."  Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Come near to God and he will come near to you.  (James 4:4-8)

Holiness begins with a preference for the things of God and resistance to the things of the world.  Holiness resists the works, words, and ways of people who resist God, starting with oneself.  It moves out into our relatiosnhips and finally out into the human institutions which are based on such resistance - the "world." In such resistance we begin to grasp the wonderful "otherness" of God.  "'My thoughts are not your thoughts.  Neither are my ways, your ways,' declares the Lord."  (Is. 55)

Peace begins with letting down our resistance in trust.  We embrace God.  In holiness we find a resistance to whatever is anti-God.  We embrace God, and no other.

Holy, Not Holier-than-Thou

Jesus came to a people who thought they were holy.  They looked to God and lived as his people in resistance to the world around them.  Jesus showed them that their holiness lacked peace with God.  They resisted the heresies of other pagan people, but did not bring peace to them.  Jesus showed them that their holiness was merely a religious exclusivism brought about by a religious preference.  Instead of being truly holy and beyond this worldand its ways, they were playing the same game as everyone else, seeking to be at the top of the ladder by condemning other people.  They were "holier-than-thou" rather than holy.

Jesus not only taught about the life from above, he lived it.  He is both Teacher and Lesson.  Jesus does not only teach us, though, he delivers us.  We are to be delivered from the world and its ways: being simply saints or "holy ones" rather than "holier-than-thou ones."  Holiness is our birthright and our inheritance.  Through Jesus we are accepted into God's holy company.  Through the Spirit of Jesus we are taught and enabled to become holy.  Holiness is both our identity and calling.

All of our hope for deliverance from this present evil age lays with Christ.  He is the one solid place on which we can stand.  Our trust in Christ himself is not work, but rest.  As Martin Luther wrote to his friend:

I am accustomed, my Brentius, for the better understanding of this point, to conceive this idea, that there is no quality in my heart at all, call it either faith or charity; but instead of these I set Christ Himself, and I say this is my righteousness. He is my quality and my formal righteousness, as they call it, so as to free myself from looking unto Law or works; nay, from looking at Christ Himself as a teacher or a giver. But I look at Him as gift and as doctrine to me, in Himself, so that in Him I have all things. He says, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life.’ He says not, ‘I give thee the way, and the truth, and the life,’ as if He were working on me from without. All these things He must be in me, abiding, living, and speaking in me, not through me or to me, that we may be ‘the righteousness of God in him’ (2Co 5:21); not in love, nor in the gifts and graces which follow.  (Luther, in Bonar, Horatius, God's Way of Holiness, Ch. 2)

In this way, holiness is our identity as we have faith in Christ.  Holiness is not a gift from him, but what he is in us.  Just as Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life", he also says, "I am your holiness."  We stand nowhere else.  We go nowhere else.  This resting place in Christ does not move us into sleep or lethargy, but into the work of the Holy Spirit.

Holiness from Resting in Christ

The Gospel does not command us to do anything in order to obtain life, but bids us live by that which another has done; and the knowledge of its life-giving truth is not labour but rest—rest of soul—rest which is the root of all true labour; for in receiving Christ we do not work in order to rest, but we rest in order to work. In believing, we cease to work for pardon, in order that we may work from it; and what incentive to work, as well as joy in working, can be greater than an ascertained and realized forgiveness?

That there are works done before faith we know, but regarding them we know that they profit nothing, “for without faith it is impossible to please God.” That there are works done after faith we also know, and they are well pleasing to God, for they are the works of believing men. But, as to any work intermediate between these two, Scripture is silent; and against transforming faith into a work the whole theology of the Reformation protested.  (Bonar, ibid, Ch. 2)

Just as rest comes before work and supports all good work, so peace comes before holiness and supports all true holiness.  With new life, we have inherited holiness through Christ in us.  It is ours as surely as Christ is ours.  Just as any inheritance whether of wealth or ability can be squandered, so can the inheritance of holiness be wasted on us.  Such squandering would beg the question of whether or not we ever received the Holy One at all.  Our work in holiness speaks to us about our faith in the Holy One who has made his home in us.

The goal of such examination is not doubt, but certainty.  If our work in holiness is nothing but trouble, we may need to seek a proper resting place first.  If we are trying to build our holiness on sand, it would be better to know before the storms come.  The sure foundation is in Christ.  Not his work, his cross, his teaching, or his gifts.  In Christ himself and nowhere else, "abiding, living, and speaking in me, not through me or to me," as Luther says.

So we find ourselves to be temples of the Holy One, both individually and corporately.  We are made holy by his presence in us.  By resting in him, we find that his presence is not a passive thing, but active.  Jesus, unlike the Law, does not remain in a box behind a curtain.  Through his Spirit, he works out his holiness through the members of his body, which is both our bodies (1 Cor. 6) and our gathering of bodies as a church (1 Cor 3).  Both kinds of bodies belong to him.  We have been purchased and redeemed.  "The body is for the Lord and the Lord for the body."

Holiness is one of the traits of a body that is inhabited with the new life of Christ.  It is one of the ways we come to recognize what this life really looks like.  It is obvious to those who seek it and confusing or repulsive to those who are passing it by.  Holiness will grow where it is planted.  Through trust the resistant ground is broken up and receives the peace and rest of Christ, the One who has done all the hard work and left us to reap the benefits.  We are disciples of holiness as we follow the Holy One, the Christ.

May Christ be our righteousness and holiness, making his home in us and with us.  May we rest in him through complete trust.  May his Holy Spirit inhabit our bodies teaching us the steps of holiness from the inside out.  We will be clumsy and fall, but may he give us the grace to get up and never give up.  Amen.

The God Who Wants to Be Heard

Jesus Christ is the Eternal Word.  He, and He alone, is the source of new life to you.For you to have new life, he must be communicated to you.  (Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ, Jeanne Guyon, Chapter 14 Silence.)

Here I see a strong basis for practicing silence before God.  I have not really thought about this particular significance of Jesus being called the Word in John 1.  Perhaps above all things, Jesus needs to be heard to be received.

Hearing has a strong place in the Bible.  The creation is spoken into existence.  Could it be that such communication from God was meant most of all to be heard?  Psalm 19 says, "The heavens declare the glory of God!"

The Shema of Israel begins with "Hear, O Israel!"  The word is also translated "obey."  Is it possible we find ourselves trying to obey without first hearing?  Perhaps this is what Jesus was driving at when he said, "Why do you call me 'Lord,' and do not do what I command?"  Perhaps the first command is listening more than professing.

If we are to be saved by the Word made flesh, it may be the first thing we need is a listening ear.  If we are going to hear him, we may need enough silence to do so.  Perhaps regeneration or new life comes through silence before God.  In order to confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts in the Word, we need to be able to hear him first, even if only faintly.

SILENCE THAT HEARS

Here is how to acquire this habit of silence.  First of all, forget yourself.

 Perhaps I will lose some people at this point.  The idea that any person could actually do anything to effect or further their own salvation is unthinkable to some people.  If it is the idea that silence itself has such an effect, I would agree wholeheartedly.  But to say that God will deliver us apart from our cooperation is to deny the one who calls out, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!"

Silence that hears is first a form of self-denial.  It is not a form of self-abuse!  It is laying aside the voice that chatters incessantly about me.  It begins when my attention shifts.  That shift must first be away from myself if I am to truly hear.

This is not surprising.  Any person who has practiced silence for the sake of careful listening knows that one of the greatest barriers to hearing is planning a reply even as someone is speaking to you.  With this kind of anticipation is the judgment that you already understand what the person is saying before they have said it.  Not only does this leave out important details and information, it signals to the person that you do not really care what they are saying, only what you will be replying.

Perhaps this is how we are with God.  Silence can help us to escape our tendency to answer God before we know what he is saying.  Perhaps we may find ourselves able to hear him out instead of putting words into his mouth.

WAIT ON GOD

Second, listen attentively to God.

This is the other side of the coin of listening.  I do not stop by merely forgetting myself.  I must continue on into attention to God.  We are given this assurance: "Wait upon the Lord and he will renew your strength."  Within the attentiveness to God is the grace he gives for us to hear him.  Sometimes it is in the raw sense of his presence.  Sometimes it is in a special circumstance that reassures us of his care.  Others have been assured through visions, dreams, and angels.  His strength will come to us.

When we can forget ourselves for a while, we find he is not far from us.  What keeps God distant is our continuous plague of self-absorption.  It is not enough to remove attention from ourselves, though.  We must wait on God.

The mind is a slippery thing.  You think you have a hold on it and it slides away into another stream of thoughts and anxieties.  The streams of the mind are formed, like trenches dug and used.  If the prevailing stream is of what I want, the mind continually slips down that trench.  The good news is that this stream is not very deep or strong.  There are much greater torrents that can capture the mind.

THE GOD I WANT TO HEAR

This is one of the ways the Bible can help us.  It is a great torrent of grace for the tranformation of the mind.  It blocks fruitless thoughts and pours out new springs of thought and hope.  Through reading, study, and praying the Bible I find myself in awe of God.  Often awe is accompanied by profound silence.

At the heart of silence is a God who wants to be heard and a God whom I want to hear.  Without this knowledge firmly planted in my belief, silence will only be a strain and an exercise rather than a doorway to a life-giving, deeply loving relationship.  Without this knowledge the Eternal Word will remain a nice idea rather than the source of life.

The Sacred and Supernatural Way of Jesus

It is to the Lord Jesus you abandon yourself.  It is also the Lord whom you will follow as the Way; it is the Lord you will hear as the Truth, and it is from the Lord that you will receive Life.  (John 14:6)  If you follow Him as the Way, you will hear Him as the Truth, and He will bring life to you as the Life.  (Guyon, Jeanne; Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ)

I had always thought that when Jesus explained himself as the Way, the Truth, and the Life, he was stacking metaphors to emphasize what he said next: "No one comes to the Father but by me."  What Jeanne Guyon wrote made me take another look at this verse.  I began to think that Jesus may have given these metaphors in order to give his disciples a path to follow him while he was not physically present.

Jesus is the Way.  He turned away people who would not follow his way, calling them to humble trust (Matthew 8:18-22).  Although Jesus told his disciples to respect the authority of the teachers of Israel by doing what they said, he warned them carefully not to do what they did (Matthew 23:2-3).

The Sacred Way of Humility

The humility of Jesus is best described in Philippians 2 as one "who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness."  Just as Jesus entered human life, bringing God into every corner of human existence, so each disciple brings Jesus and his Father into each part of their own human existence.  We must not stand above or apart from our own lives, trying to grasp at something other than what we are given.

Within the stream of Christian tradition, we begin the way of humility with the call to Sacramental Living.  It starts small, perhaps with church attendance or Bible reading or habitually helping others for Jesus' sake, but like yeast in a lump of dough, it spreads and has effects far beyond its apparent quantity.  Sacramental living uses ritual and everyday life to grow in Christ.  Humble means for the humble way.

The Supernatural Way of the Spirit

The faith of Jesus, his utter trust in his Father, seems most amazingly obvious in his statement, "Whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." (John 14:12)  Human beings we intended to act with power far beyond themselves.  With a trust like Jesus, we find that the finger of God comes to lift burdens, cast out demons, and heal the sick in ways that are not explainable by normal human activity.


Within the stream of Christian tradition, true humility leads to deep trust and power.  This is life directed and empowered by the Spirit of Christ.  Those who follow Jesus must follow him in the Spirit.  We begin and finish with the Spirit.  Jesus explained how in the life of his disciples the filling of the Spirit would cause many things to happen, like seeds growing into plants all by themselves (Mark 4:27-28)  We are meant to do all things far beyond our own capability.

Wide and Deep and High

Sacramental living spreads the presence and work of Christ horizontally through one's life - wide.  The way of Christ may start in church, but it will spread into family and work.  The rituals and everyday practices become doors through which Jesus can enter life.  If they become too important in themselves, however, such practices lead to a constricted and dry life.  They must be jars to be filled and used instead of bricks to be labored over and made into walls.

Spirit-empowered living expands each part of life higher and deeper, giving it a vertical dimension.  At first it may seem life lightning striking out of nowhere, but then as trust deepens, so the higher ways of the Spirit become more evident and understandable.  Although disciples of Jesus follow him in the Spirit, they must never lose their grounding in everyday life.  Power without humility intoxicates the mind.  Daily living with rituals and practices keep power from overwhelming us.

The way of Jesus is a way of humble trust.  It is grounded in daily life and meaningful practices, where human life exists.  It also expands and explodes all human definitions through a dynamic life in the Spirit, who deepens our trust in God by his every action.  The way of Jesus is both sacred and supernatural.

Recollection, the Mind at Rest: Entering Teresa's Fourth Mansion

So I'm thinking that the first four mansions that Teresa has in her Interior Castles might be summarized as follows:

• First mansion: Become aware of my soul and begin praying.
• Second mansion: Become aware of my sins, develop humility through reflection.
• Third mansion: Overcome sins, develop perseverance through surrender.
• Fourth mansion: Putting the mind at rest, expanding the heart/will through love.

None of these "moves" are done solo.  God's grace makes each possible.  None of these moves is purely passive.  Effort is essential.  The heavy work is done by God, but I must be ready and willing.

The fourth mansion begins with something Teresa calls a form of the "Prayer of Recollection."  From what I understand, this is the doorway to what she calls the "Prayer of Quiet," which is the main attraction of this mansion.  Such recollection or "gathering" in prayer prepares a place for the prayer of quiet to take place, like building a temple inside.  "The senses and all external things seem gradually to lose their hold on him, while the soul, on the other hand, regains its lost control. . . .  [These people] become markedly conscious that they are gradually retiring within themselves; anyone who experiences this will discover what I mean: I cannot explain it better."  (Teresa of Avila, St.; Peers, E. Allison (2010-10-07). Interior Castle (Kindle Locations 1137-8, 1156-8.))

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In such recollection, "we should contrive, not to use our reasoning powers, but to be intent upon discovering what the Lord is working in the soul."  (ibid, Kindle Locations 1166-1167.)  Although there is surrender of the will, this does not mean inactivity.  Prayer becomes more alive because we are in the presence of the King!  This is where we can enter into conversation with God, praying and listening, seeking and finding, so that we can discover what God is up to.

And what will we find?  We will find that "the person who does most is he who thinks least and desires to do least: what we have to do is to beg like poor and needy persons coming before a great and rich Emperor and then cast down our eyes in humble expectation."  (ibid, Kindle Locations 1174-1176.)  Too much effort brings more harm than good.  It awakens the mind into agitation.  It puts the focus on ourselves instead of on God, the one works in and through all.

I like her warning concerning thinking:

Let [your soul] try, without forcing itself or causing any turmoil, to put a stop to all discursive reasoning, yet not to suspend the understanding, nor to cease from all thought, though it is well for it to remember that it is in God's presence and Who this God is. If feeling this should lead it into a state of absorption [in His presence], well and good; but it should not try to understand what this state is, because that is a gift bestowed upon the will. The will, then, should be left to enjoy it, and should not labour except for uttering a few loving words, for although in such a case one may not be striving to cease from thought, such cessation often comes, though for a very short time."   (Kindle Locations 1198-1202.) (emphasis mine)

Recollection is the place where the mind can rest, so that the soul can call out to God in love.  Such love is what the Prayer of Quiet is made of. 

The Dangers of Being Right: Teresa's Third Mansion

Our outward comportment and behaviour may be better than theirs, but this, though good, is not the most important thing: there is no reason why we should expect everyone else to travel by our own road, and we should not attempt to point them to the spiritual path when perhaps we do not know what it is.  (Teresa of Avila, St.; Peers, E. Allison (2010-10-07). Interior Castle (Kindle Locations 923-925). Wilder Publications. Kindle Edition.)

In many ways, the discovery that I have done something right proves a greater danger than when I have been proved wrong.  Such goodness, when handled poorly, can lead into a false martyrdom and perfectionism.  By the grace of God and the guidance of Jesus, goodness and virtue can lead to further growth and closer relations with God.

One pitfall before a person who has overcome sin in his life is becoming a self-made martyr.  "They brood over their woes and make up their minds that they are suffering for God's sake, and thus never really understand that it is all due to their own imperfection."  (ibid, Kindle Locations 820-821) Wilder Publications. Kindle Edition.)  The blessing of security in the conscience that comes with a triumph over sin can lead to great disappointment at failures afterward.  Instead of gaining a clearer perception of myself, I blame other people and circumstances for my difficulties.  Humility shows itself as a "healing balm" when I learn to leave the world of prestige and comparison.  It's best to always consider myself a learner and novice, especially when there are triumphs in my life.

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This "martyrdom" is closely related to perfectionism.  With the benefit of practicing good and virtuous actions comes the idea of teaching others.  Although teaching is not in itself a bad thing at all, when it comes from restlessness and a desire for everyone else to "live as well-ordered a life as they do themselves"  (ibid, Kindle Locations 847-848), it often results in meddling and even self-righteousness.  The spiritual life becomes one in which I go and get from God so I can go and get other people to feel or to do certain things.  I look for consolations from God more than learning how to give in to his work and his ways.

Perfectionism does not grow, but gets more deeply entrenched in the comfortable ruts of what I think I'm good at or what other people think I'm good at.  Actually it is characterized by great fear and ends in depression.  True growth in Christ consists in the increase of love.  Looking for role models and instructors can help disarm perfectionism and deepen humility.

It is a great encouragement to see that things which we thought impossible are possible to others, and how easily these others do them. It makes us feel that we may emulate their flights and venture to fly ourselves, as the young birds do when their parents teach them; they are not yet ready for great flights but they gradually learn to imitate their parents.(ibid, Kindle Locations 912-915)

Ultimately the way out comes with love.  Both self-martyrdom and perfectionism have the quality of caution.  They carefully measure effort toward God for the sake of comparison or out of fear.

Their love is not yet ardent enough to overwhelm their reason. How I wish ours would make us dissatisfied with this habit of always serving God at a snail's pace! As long as we do that we shall never get to the end of the road. And as we seem to be walking along and getting fatigued all the time -- for, believe me, it is an exhausting road -- we shall be very lucky if we escape getting lost.  (ibid, Kindle Locations 862-864)

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Instead of joy, they find worry.  Instead of peace, alarm at every turn.  The consolations that come from God become the reward for duty instead of sign posts on the journey.  Blaming others becomes the primary way of dealing with suffering instead of closer kinship with Jesus.  The growth of virtue and goodness leads naturally to a great love of God and others.  It is this love that propels us ever deeper into prayer and leaving our desires behind.  Without this love, maintaining any virtue will prove impossible.

I am amused about writing about self-martyrdom and perfectionism.  Might I not be falling into this very trap by trying to explain it?  Certainly.  It is the spirit behind the thoughts and ideas and sentences that will prove them right or wrong.  I have already fallen into this trap on a number of occasions.  I speak from experience.  The question is: will I find the grace to leave it behind and move forward into God's great house, into his great love?  The grace is up to God.  The waiting and anticipating is up to me.

Lord, may I find patience at the door of your castle and not become restless.  May I find peace at your door and the generosity to allow others to come as you see fit.  Let my ways be encouragement to those close to me, especially as I find my place as a fellow student with them.  Amen.

Overcoming Prayer: Teresa's Third Mansion

It is really a perfect misery to be alive when we have always to be going about like men with enemies at their gates, who cannot lay aside their arms even when sleeping or eating, and are always afraid of being surprised by a breaching of their fortress in some weak spot. Oh, my Lord and my God! How canst Thou wish us to desire such a miserable life as that?

(Teresa of Avila, St.; Peers, E. Allison (2010-10-07). Interior Castle (Kindle Locations 729-731). Wilder Publications. Kindle Edition.)

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A great moment in the life of a disciple of Jesus is the moment of overcoming.  In that moment grace is found to be sufficient for more than mere forgiveness.  In that moment God's pity on my ruined life is not the top rung of the ladder of spiritual growth.  In that moment I find that God grants some security in this life and that spiritual dryness does not always have to lead to backsliding.

One of the greatest barriers for spiritual growth in my life is the suspicion that things will never get better and will always get harder.  The struggle against the "pet sins" in my life have seemed to be endless.  The simple reason is that I have returned to them instead of leaving them.  In order to get over this "hump," I have needed a few things.  First, I needed to know that it is possible in God's grace to overcome sins in my life.  Next, I have needed to move beyond the desire to change into some real plans and actions.  Finally, as I began to overcome, I have experienced and reflected on a "security of conscience," as Teresa calls it. In this security I am not always armed and fearing "the enemy at the gates," but able to look forward and ahead to what God has worked out next in my life.

I have also had to come to terms with spiritual dryness in my prayer life.  As long as I blame God or circumstances for this dryness, I fall back into other forms of comfort, even sinful ones.  I have had to admit that such dryness comes mostly from how I want to deepen my practice of prayer and relinquish sins in my life, but do not take the steps to do it.  Like the rich young man who came before Jesus, I hesitate to so what he asks.  Even when I have ventured to "try out" what is needed, I lack the patience to wait at the door of the King.  I think I deserve to be invited immediately in.  Really this dryness is a time when I will develop either humility or restlessness, depending on my attitude toward the Lord.

livingameaningfulllife

Overcoming has not so much to do with the enemies outside, but the enemies within.  Although I must first want to overcome sins in my life, I must move beyond desire into intention and action.  An overcoming life will look different from one that does not even if the desires are similar.  Spiritual dryness tests such desire.  When trust moves my heart away from restlessness, I will find that God will give "peace and resignation to His will," even if prayers continue in dryness for a time.  Such peace will be more welcome than even great moments of prayer.

I must desire to move from struggle into God's security enough to take action with God in my life.  He will meet me there.  I must not mistake spiritual dryness for God's lack of concern and attention, but as a moment to be humble before him, waiting for his response and strength to endure.  God's overcoming grace will come.  My part is not to leave the door before it opens.  "Do not suppose God has any need of our works; what He needs is the resoluteness of our will."  (ibid, 790-791)

Lord, grant me the grace to be an over-comer, a permanent pillar in your temple worshiping and praising you.  Amen.

Planting for Prayer: Teresa's Second Mansion

Entering into the practice of prayer quickly brings me face to face with sin in my life.  Ignoring sin inevitably leaves my prayer life disabled and dark.  My understanding of God will be confused  at best because of the shroud that covers my mind.   "Although the Sun Himself, Who has given it all its splendour and beauty, is still there in the centre of the soul, it is as if He were not there for any participation which the soul has in Him, though it is as capable of enjoying Him as is the crystal of reflecting the sun."  (Teresa of Avila, St.; Peers, E. Allison (2010-10-07). Interior Castle (Kindle Locations 441-443). Wilder Publications. Kindle Edition.)  Denial of sin is one of the great diseases of the soul.  It is cured through a living knowledge of what we are, who we are, and what we fight.

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People are beautiful and well-built.  "In speaking of the soul we must always think of it as spacious, ample and lofty; and this can be done without the least exaggeration, for the soul's capacity is much greater than we can realize, and this Sun, Which is in the palace, reaches every part of it." We are built as a home for God.   The beauty and usefulness of each person as a dwelling for God cannot be overemphasized.  People are like trees planted by water.  We draw our life from outside of ourselves.  We are not self-sufficient.  We are made to work in cooperation with God.  As we move into prayer, we need to be drawing from God and his grace, a "spring of life. . . .  On the other hand, through its own fault, leaves this spring and becomes rooted in a pool of pitch-black, evil-smelling water, it produces nothing but misery and filth."  Because of this condition, people need pity.  God gives us pity.  Without pity, we cannot find grace.  Without God's grace, we cannot find prayer.  We are well-made.  We draw our life from outside ourselves.  We need pity to grow.  This is what we are.

Self-knowledge governed by God grows into humility.  We can never have enough humility.  We always need to return to the work of humility, taming the desires of the body, the desires for recognition, and pride in what I do.  We can only be lifted to the heights of prayer from the stable foundation of humility.  We must not take this task on ourselves.   "Although. . . it is through the abundant mercy of God that the soul studies to know itself, yet one can have too much of a good thing, as the saying goes, and believe me, we shall reach much greater heights of virtue by thinking upon the virtue of God than if we stay in our own little plot of ground and tie ourselves down to it completely."  Self-knowledge can only be found in knowing God.  Each person will only find who they are through humility.  We must return to the work of humility frequently.  The best place to find humility is in knowing God more and more.

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Pride blinds us to what and who are are.  Pride causes us to think that we are the center of the universe.  We are god.  We forget Who dwells in us, where we draw our life from, and our need for pity.  "What a state the poor rooms of [this soul] are in! How distracted are the senses which inhabit them! And the faculties, which are their governors and butlers and stewards -- how blind they are and how ill-controlled! And yet, after all, what kind of fruit can one expect to be borne by a tree rooted in the devil?"  Pride makes us into mere consumers needing to be entertained.

This seems to me to be the condition of a soul which, though not in a bad state, is so completely absorbed in things of the world and so deeply immersed, as I have said, in possessions or honours or business, that, although as a matter of fact it would like to gaze at the castle and enjoy its beauty, it is prevented from doing so, and seems quite unable to free itself from all these impediments.

 Finally, in our blindness, our love for God and other people grows cold.  We do not see our true neediness.  We do not see how knowing God will help us understand ourselves.  Pride is what we fight.

The beginning work of prayer lies in understanding how wonderful we are and yet how each person needs pity to grow.  Such understanding draws us into humility before God, the only place where we can truly know who God is and who we are.  Humility arms us against pride which destroys our life and soul through isolation from God and other people and blind self-destruction.  Praying to God begins this work and continues far beyond it.  Lord, open our eyes to you so that we might open our lives to you and dig deeply into conversation with you and real love for you.  Amen.