Virtue and Failure

Devotional Classics, Gregory of Nyssa, Excerpts from The Life of Moses

"This is true perfection: not to avoid a wicked life because like slaves we servilely fear punishment, not to do good because we hope for rewards, as if cashing in on the virtuous life by some business-like arrangement. On the contrary, disregarding all those things for which we hope and which have been reserved by promise, we regard falling from God's friendship as the only thing dreadful and we consider becoming God's friend the only thing worthy of honor and desire. This, as I have said, is the perfection of life." (p.157)

When my kids do something they shouldn't, what seems the worst is being caught. They feel truly bad and want to make amends as quickly as possible. They can't stand the disapproval. Punishment can almost seem welcome to them so they can "make up" for what they did. I guess there are some things people don't grow out of too easily.

Now, what about the things I am not caught doing. Without the obvious presence of another person to emphasize my disobedience or lack of control, I feel much less anxiety and sorrow. At this point I am tested. How much do I sense God's presence? Knowing that he know and sees what I have done may cause some level of conviction.

There is something to living in God's presence as living under the scrutiny of love which "does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth." (1 Cor. 13:6) God has no love for the evil things I do. This is bound to affect me the more I am aware of it.

And yet, it doesn't entirely. My mind says, "Well, God sees everything; there won't be any shocking him" or "He knows that there are worse people than me around." It is not merely his scrutiny nor his love that keep me from stopping my trek of virtue to indulge in evil side paths. Something more is required.

Something more than God's love? What could their be? Obviously God's love is foundational and necessary, but he has granted me my own measure of love to give or withhold from him. Friendship is not merely God loving me, but me loving God as well. My own part is infinitely smaller than God's, but still necessary.

So when I sin and fall, I still feel like a creep. God's kept up his side of the friendship, but I have been unfaithful. Granted. But God doesn't want us to feel bad about ourselves so much as feeling bad about distancing ourselves from him. As long as my reason for virtue focuses on what will happen to me when I do right or wrong, it will remain outside my heart and in the realm of behavior alone. My reason for virtue must come from a concern about what will happen to God if I am unfaithful.

Really, God hurts about my sin and unfaithfulness far more than I ever will. He will not become unfaithful or give up on me or lose control, but knows that I am in danger of breaking faith with him. My will and faithfulness can only bend so far. But even if I am not in danger of "breaking" entirely, our relationship is cut shorter and my experience of his loving community in Trinity is noticeably dulled. His love for me is so deep, each moment I spend away pains him.

Lord, I hate when I sin against you. I find I hate my failure more than I hate the hurt and the separation I cause between myself and you and other people as well. Forgive me for my pride about being right and virtuous. Help me rather to obtain the true perfection of friendship with you that I will not part with for anything because of the sheer joy and peace of being with you. I do not want to be right as much as I want to love you more. Amen.

This really makes me aware of my recovery time. After exerting in exercise, recovering correctly can mean the difference between feeling energized by my exercise or getting cramps and injuries. Similarly, recovery time from sinning against God is what happens after I confess. It can be spent in anger at myself and God and others which can leave me far worse off than the sin itself. I long to let go of my pride and worry about being righteous and "perfect," and seek to think on God's pain and his hurt as well as those I have wronged and eagerly try to remedy what I can. The hardest thing is facing the pain I have caused by sinning, but it is the only thing that will heal the relationship well and bring true virtue.

Pursuing Virtue

Devotional Classics, Gregory of Nyssa, Excerpts from The Life of Moses

"We should show great diligence not to fall away from the perfection which is attainable but to acquire as much as possible: to that extent let us make progress within the realm of what we seek. For the perfection of human nature consists perhaps in its very growth in goodness." (p.156)

"[Gregory] and other Church fathers used the Bible and its characters to teach us how to grow closer to God, how to "elevate" the soul to God." (p.154)

Stand at the crossroads and look;

ask for the ancient paths,

ask where the good way is, and walk in it,

and you will find rest for your souls.

(Jeremiah 6:16)

Virtue seems a funny thing to rest in. I think of resting in bed, resting in the Bahamas, resting near a mountain stream, but not resting in virtue. The more immediate image of rest with virtue is thinking of sleeping on a bed of nails.

This fear and revulsion to virtue is foreign to Gregory. He sees virtue as the means to draw near to God. Although perfection has no limit in his eyes and is therefore unattainable, he understands the never-ceasing pursuit of it as the essence of human perfection. Certainly, pursuit can be merely the act of pursuing, but another meaning captures the kind of pursuit that he is talking about, I think: any occupation, pastime, or the like, in which a person is engaged regularly or customarily, like "literary pursuits."

The connotation has the feel of a hobby, like something pleasant. For the sake of certain hobbies, I have engaged in rigorous research, spent late nights in experimentation, and expended funds to perfect the outcomes. The whole process is one of joy and anticipation. Such "pursuits" reflect the sort of heart that can rest in virtue. When virtue is something I "love," the pursuit can become "rest for the soul."

Of course, the pursuit of virtue as a hobby breaks down, since hobbies are by definition non-essential. Virtue and the rest of the soul are matters of life and death. Grace enables me to take such matters lightly not because of their importance or because nothing is required of me, but because "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Php. 1:6) Perfection lies in the seeking because of the power that God displays in everyone who seeks him and his ways (Mt. 6:33). In this way I can truly find rest for my soul: in the grace of God that empowers and inspires me.

Lord, let my pursuits be ones that take me to your side rather than away from you. You are the fountain of life. May your streams run through me in everything I do. And may I run - not walk - into obedience and virtue because they are your ways and bring me to your side for loving fellowship and for good work. Amen.

Rest in work happens when I learn submission. Virtue is the answer when I ask where the good way is. Walking in it takes trust and submission to the One who would guide me. When I work merely for myself, worry takes over. The heart of this rest is submission and trusting in the Father even as Jesus did, so that all my ways are ways of peace. "

Virtue and Perfectionism

Devotional Classics, Gregory of Nyssa, Excerpts from The Life of Moses

"Although on the whole my argument has shown that [perfection] is unattainable, one should not disregard the commandment of the Lord which says, Therefore be perfect, just as your heavenly father is perfect. For in the case of those things which are good by nature, even if men of understanding were not able to attain everything, by attaining even a part they could yet gain a great deal." (p.156)

The unattainable aspect of this command is for the Pharisees and teachers of the law. As Jesus explained the righteousness of the kingdom, they no doubt sneered at his ideas being presented to the disciples and the crowds. Not only were his ideas impossible, but laughable because the riff-raff that Jesus offered them to. They may have even seen his commands as blasphemous, asking people to try to imitate the Almighty God. Jesus would expect this from people who approach righteousness like the Pharisees did. They cannot see it any other way.

But there is another way to understand this command, "Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect." Jesus contrasted this command with a comment he gave before the examples of heavenly righteousness: "I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven." This got me thinking, what is the righteousness of these experts and leading thinkers of the day? Basically, it boils down to something Jesus says later about them: "Everything they do is done for men to see." (Mt. 23:5)

The contrast, then, is this: my perfection is to be like God's in quality, not quantity. The perfection of God comes from his nature - who he is and how he is. The righteousness of the Pharisees came (comes) from external pressures and the basic desire to look good rather than be good. The whole point of the examples Jesus gives before this command in Matthew 5 is that I cannot do right by simply not doing wrong; I must become right to do what is right. Similarly, in Matthew 6 after this command for perfection, Jesus says I cannot do what is right by simply doing what is right, I must become right in order to do what is right. The perfection of the Father that Jesus points me to is one that comes from the inside out rather than the outside in.

I do not think that Jesus was saying that the quantity of perfection was unimportant. Not being able to attain it can drive me to despair and ridicule or to grace. Granted. But I see more than that. He is also pointing me to the only road to surpassing the outward forms of rule and law that never made anyone righteous. He points me to the idea that in order to practice virtue in any real sense, I must set my mind, heart, and body on becoming the sort of person who practices virtue. The adjective virtuous then means not someone who follows a bunch of rules religiously, but someone whom the rules follow and in whom they flow because of their life and character. Jesus seems to say, "Don't follow the rules, let them follow you!"

Striving to be perfect only leads to "perfectionism" when imposed from the outside as rules and law. When striving to be perfect is a matter of living with God daily and longing for and seeking out his goodness, his virtue, his righteousness (Mt. 6:33), then the outside of my life gets cleaned as well (23:26). Perfectionism has to keep score in order to continue on. Becoming perfect in virtue can (and does) enjoy doing what is right because it comes from God and can leave the results to him as well even while enjoying just "a part." Perfectionism has to compare with others (Mt. 7:1-6) and therefore must do things mainly for everyone to see. Becoming perfect in virtue is content and even more pleased to keep such practices and joys private, as a special offering to God. Perfectionism yields impatience, unkindness, envy, unhappiness, and conflict within the person and outside him toward others. Becoming perfect in virtue brings patience, kindness, encouragement, joy, and peace toward my own life and toward others' as well.

Lord, I have been in the grip of perfectionism too often. I have seen you as a task master hanging over me waiting for me to get something wrong so you can condemn me. Father, I did not know what I was thinking! You are so kind and your ways are so often misunderstood because of my own harshness and how it makes me see everyone else as harsh, too. Let me rather walk this road of perfection knowing that virtue comes from a heart and a life that is bent on loving you as surely as smoke comes from a fire. Let my intention be true: becoming good, right, and virtuous rather than merely seeking to look good, right, and virtuous. May your grace impel me as I turn to walk this path. Amen.

Like Jesus, I want to revel in the goodness of his Father. Jesus was unspotted because of his continual joy in the goodness of the Father, his continual efforts to do what the Father was doing. Certainly he is the only mediator between the Father and all people. Yet his mediation is not merely going back and forth between the Father and me, but also introducing me to the Father and showing me how to live in His presence with himself, the Son, and the Spirit. Such is the joy of virtue: relying on Jesus to do what I cannot do and finding more and more that I can do the things that Jesus does as I stand and walk with him toward the Father and in the Spirit. This is the rightness I long for: being right in the middle of the loving Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. May virtue place me on their doorstep.