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I long to see Christ formed in me and in those around me. Spiritual formation is my passion. My training was under Dallas Willard at the Renovare Spiritual Formation Institute. One of my regular prayers is this: "This day be within and without me, lowly and meek, yet all powerful. Be in the heart of each to whom I speak, and in the mouth of each who speaks unto me."

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Showing posts with label Thomas a Kempis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thomas a Kempis. Show all posts

Friday, October 28, 2011

Bear the Cross, It Will Bear You

The Imitation of Christ, Thomas a Kempis
For verily it is not deep words that make a man holy and upright; it is a good life which maketh a man dear to God.
I had rather feel contrition than be skillful in the definition thereof. 
He only is truly great, who hath great charity.
If thou wouldst profit by thy reading, read humbly, simply, honestly, and not desiring to win a character for learning.
As oft as I have gone among men, so oft have I returned less a man.
Two things specially avail unto improvement in holiness, namely firmness to withdraw ourselves from the sin to which by nature we are most inclined, and earnest zeal for that good in which we are most lacking.
Let nothing be great, nothing high, nothing pleasing, nothing acceptable unto thee, save God Himself or the things of God.
Thou art none the holier if thou art praised, nor the viler if thou art reproached.
If thou willingly bear the Cross, it will bear thee. . . .  If thou cast away one cross, without doubt thou shalt find another and perchance a heavier.
For a little reward men make a long journey; for eternal life many will scarce lift a foot once from the ground.
 The prudent lover considereth not the gift of the lover so much as the love of the giver.
 My Son, he who striveth to withdraw himself from obedience, withdraweth himself also from grace, and he who seeketh private advantages, loseth those which are common unto all.
He is not truly patient who will only suffer as far as seemeth right to himself and from whom he pleaseth.
Strive, My Son, to do another's will rather than thine own. Choose always to have less rather than more. Seek always after the lowest place, and to be subject to all. Wish always and pray that the will of God be fulfilled in thee. Behold, such a man as this entereth into the inheritance of peace and quietness.
Hold fast the short and complete saying, 'Renounce all things, and thou shalt find all things; give up thy lust, and thou shalt find rest.'
It is not really a small thing, when in small things we resist self.
How many have been injured by their virtue being made known and too hastily praised.
All reason and natural investigation ought to follow faith, not to precede, nor to break it. 
I find it hard to group all the thoughts in The Imitation of Christ.  I will use the title as the main theme.  I guess it shows that imitating Christ, being his disciple, is simple in its meaning, but profound in its implications and manifold in its expression.

I am impressed with a Kempis' continual reminder that thinking about discipleship or talking about discipleship is not the same as practicing and doing it. Also that doing discipleship without the inner growth and change of self-denial and passion for God and his ways.

As far as mere talk, he criticizes mere book learning that can define the things of God without experiencing them and engage in learning for the inflation of ourselves with a "character of learning" rather than humility of a real disciple.  "Deep words" do not make a disciple, but a "good life."

As far as mere good deeds, he points out how a person may make a show of patience or virtue without really being virtuous at all because he picks and chooses the recipients of his virtue.  It is possible for people to be "injured by their virtue," when it is too quickly or too often praised.  In the end all good deeds, like reason and learning, need to proceed from faith and not precede or break it.

In particular, The Imitation expresses how I might take up the cross and follow Jesus.  Jesus said there would be no following him without first taking up his cross.  In short, a Kempis recommends this saying as central: "Renounce all things, and you will find all things; give up your desires, and you will find rest."  This is a picture of the cross of Christ. About this saying he adds, "Dwell upon this in thy mind, and when thou art full of it, thou shalt understand all things.O Lord, this is not the work of a day, nor children's play; verily in this short saying is enclosed all the perfection of the religious."

Another way he puts this truth about self-denial is "If you willingly bear the cross, it will bear you." In following Christ, the cross is sufficient in bringing us to a powerful, full, and happy life because of the promise and reality of the resurrection. That is why by renouncing, I can gain. "Possessing nothing, but having everything." That is why by giving up my desires, I find peace. My true desire is found in Christ.

Such reading has been foreign to me.  I have had The Imitation recommended to me several times, but I have never been able to make it through until now.  Taking up the cross as self-denial and as destruction of the natural human abilities apart from God has seemed "over the top" and "Medieval" to me until I came face to face with desires and habits that threatened my marriage and my family.  Such desires and habits kept my learning from Christ inconsistent and powerless and emptied my heart of love for him and others.  When I finally saw how destructive these forces that lived in my life and body were, I understood the necessity of the cross.  I saw that only an overhaul would do, not the cosmetic surgery I was trying out.  Death was the answer, not merely coping.

So I can say and hope to live out this message: "If you willingly bear the cross, it will bear you."


Lord, I regret how long I have avoided the cross and fiddled around with mere talk and mere deeds.  I have not followed you with my whole heart, but have often left you to the side, only dabbling in the life you offer, not seeing its full glory and benefit.  Let me see your glory so that I may embrace your cross.  Let nothing be great, nothing high, nothing pleasing, nothing acceptable to me, except you and what you bring.  Amen.


I am reminded of a particular day when I gave up trying to fix myself.  I drove up to a stop sign and realized that I couldn't go forward or backward or left or right and find what would help me.  I had looked everywhere for relief from my desires and vices.  I had looked everywhere, except up.  So I looked to you and said, "Lead me and I will go.  I will do what you say.  Nothing else will work."  You are faithful.  You are enough.  I do not miss the things that I gave up to you that day, but hope to see them crucified completely in my life, so that I may be raised completely in your life.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Virtue and Temptation

Devotional Classics, Thomas a Kempis, The Imitation of Christ

"Many have tried to escape  temptations only to find that they more grievously fall into them.  We cannot win this battle by running away alone; the key to victory is true humility and patience; in them we overcome the enemy.  If we merely turn away from temptation outwardly and do not strike at the root, we will make very little progress.  In fact, you will find that the temptations will return more quickly and powerfully, and you will feel even worse.  Little by little, through patient endurance of spirit (with the help of God), you will win a better victory than by your own determination.  The beginning of all evil temptations is an unstable mind and a small trust in God."  (p.185)

The trouble with temptation is that "wherever you go, there you are."  Temptation lives in my desire and I take my desire with me wherever I go.  It is a thought accompanied by a sense of pleasure.  These occur with some regularity throughout my day.

One relief is that temptation is not in itself wrong.  My will has not been brought to bear.  I have not made a choice. . . yet.  When I mistake temptation for sin, I live a defeated life and misunderstand the nature of spiritual growth and salvation.  I will not be saved from temptation in this life, any more than Jesus was.  However, like Jesus and in his company, I can hope to overcome temptation.

Although temptation is a thought and a feeling and the fight against temptation is within my mind, the victory against temptation is found elsewhere.  Victory against temptation is found in the heart.  I am tempted because of a "small trust is God" and a lack of "true humility and patience."  The orientation of the heart is what strengthens or weakens temptation.  The less I trust God and yield to his desires and goodness, the less I am willing to wait on him to save me from my troubles, the greater temptations will become.  Conversely, the more I trust God and delight in what he delights in and rely on him for help, the more temptations move into the realm of passing thoughts with no appeal.

Without my cry to God, I am working "in the flesh," that is, by my own ability and determination.  This is bound to fail.  It does not hit the root of the matter, but ends up merely pruning the branches of the temptation and making it grow larger.  What I mean is that the more I rely on my own determination to fight temptation, the less I rely on God and trust in him, and then find that the temptation grows in strength because it grows where there is little trust in God.  I may find that I exchange one behavior for another, but root of pride and self-reliance remains which gives temptation its strength.

So I cannot run away from temptation.  Neither can I fight temptation directly with my own "will-power."  Instead I must face temptation and endure it, not by focusing on it, but by calling out to God for help and salvation and waiting on him.  I fight the temptation in the battlefield of my mind by learning how to continually focus on God in his goodness and in what he desires.  Temptation indicates where I have wavered in my attention on God.

In this way temptations can serve me.  I can find the places and times in my life where I lose track of God.  (The Prayer of Examen is helpful for this.  See http://messagescraps.blogspot.com/2011/08/prayer-of-examen-examined.html)  Temptation is, at its heart, forgetting God.  The kinds of thoughts and feelings and the where and when I have them inform me of my weaknesses.  "Temptations reveal our instability and our lack of trust in God; temptations reveal who we are.  That is why we must pay attention to them."  Humility and patience are the willingness and desire to bring God into those areas of my life, so that he is all in all.  

Basically, I need to learn how to have his desires, the desire for good, at the center of my life instead of my own desires a the center.  I trust that if I seek God's interests and desires, he will richly supply my own in his way and in his time.  Instead of all thoughts and choices going through the "Do I want to?" filter first, I need to bring them through the "Is this God's good?" filter first.

I am tempted to neglect work at times.  I find that when faced with certain tasks, I have a feeling of boredom or even frustration.  I have been learning to submit to such work because I anticipate that God will take such things, even if they seem unimportant, and create patience and kindness and endurance in me through them.  When things are particularly difficult I call out for help and God comes quickly most times.  I am learning that trusting God is doing these tasks out of love and service to him, knowing that he is my "boss" and will take care of my wants and needs.  Trusting God enables me to change my thoughts about the work and then my feelings follow.

I could change my thoughts about the work in other ways, without trusting God, but instead relying on "positive thinking" or pride in being a good worker.  These attitudes take the work I do and build up my trust in my own abilities apart from God, what is called "the flesh" in the Bible.  Unfortunately, as I build up the pride in my flesh, which leads to greater desire towards pleasing myself and looking good to impress other people.  In the end, this strengthens the temptation to be bored or frustrated at work, because my flesh growls about not being satisfied or appreciated.

With God as my trust, the boredom and frustration are replaced with joy in seeing God work in and through my work to increase humility and endurance in my life as well as blessing other people with my work and my attitude.  The growling of my flesh for satisfaction or appreciation becomes quieter in the pleasure of seeing God honored and pleased and other people blessed and encouraged to serve God in their own lives, even in small ways.

Lord, as temptations come my way today, let me think on you and call out to you.  Let me not be afraid, but excited that through overcoming temptation.  "Peace is not found by escaping temptations, but by being tried by them.  We will discover peace when we have been tried and come through the trial of temptation."  You are my strength and my hope.  Amen.

I want to work more on the "tail end" of temptation.  I want to be able to use temptation to further my walk with God.  I see that through temptation, I can become aware of my weakness and where I need God more in my life.  Also, I can see where the flesh has more sway to complain by seeing where I crave satisfaction and appreciation most.  I want to be mindful of this.  Only in this will virtue become implanted in my life in the places I need it most instead of in places where I will be tempted to make a show of it.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Virtue and Peace

Devotional Classics, Thomas a Kempis, Excerpts from The Imitation of Christ

"No matter how hard we try, our lives will never be without strife and grief. Thus, we should not strive for a peace that is without temptation, or for a life that never feels adversity. Peace is not found by escaping temptations, but by being tried by them. We will have discovered peace when we have been tried and come through the trial of temptation." (p.186)

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Peace and trouble do not sound like they can coexist well. Somehow in my mind they seem more like opposites. Most often I pursue a peace that is an absence of trouble. I imagine a peace that is a trouble-free life.

Certainly, I did not get this from Jesus or his teaching. Jesus, the man of peace, faced many troubles. He also promised that I would faced troubles. Where does this idea, this hope come from, then?

I think part of it is a mistaken idea about spirituality. I imagine the "Nirvana" peace of losing self and complete complacency is floating around there somewhere. Peace in this light is a lack of fear, but also a lack of passion and concern. The peace that Jesus offers is different.

I guess from reading a Kempis, I find that peace is overcoming. Peace is not passive. It is a lack of fear and alarm, but not because desire has been denied or ignored, but because evil is overcome. Temptation and trial find their true faces when they are overcome by Jesus.

Actually, I find that trying to maintain a trouble-free peace guarantees fear and alarm. My hopes have always been dashed to the ground since trouble is part of this existence. Instead, a Kempis reminds me to go through trials with Jesus and overcome them with his good.

Peace accompanies virtue, but when I misunderstand peace, I find that virtue takes on a different face. Since seeking virtue brings trouble, trouble-free peace cannot be found. When following Jesus, trouble finds me, but remaining with him enables me to go through trials and temptations and stand. Then I find true peace.

Lord, I can see I have a long way to go in this, but I am excited about having a way to go! Please remind me each day to walk in this way. I want to overcome with you rather than live in fear and frustration. This peace is peace. Amen.

Today I have been facing troubles in the form of people frustrating me and opposing my good intentions. Rather than being so deeply troubled by this, I am seeking to overcome my worry about what people do or think around me and seek to overcome evil. The first evil God has shown me is my own frantic concern about what people think about me. I believe this step toward peace will also be a step toward loving goodness and virtue as they should be.