Prayer and Intimacy Again

Photo from "Love at the Heart of Things" by E. Glen Hinson

Devotional Classics, p. 89, Douglas Steere, Excerpts from Prayer and Worship

"When we hold up the life of another before God, when we expose it to God's love, when we pray for its realease from drowsiness, for the quickening of its inner health, for the power to throw off a destructive habit, for the restoration of its free and vital relationship with its fellows, for its strength to resist temptation, for its courage to continue against sharp opposition - only then do we sense what it means to share in God's work, in his concern; only then do the walls that separate us from others go down and we sense that we are at bottom all knit together in a great and intimate family."

I see this idea of intimacy can be a false one if I emphasize the power of prayer to make me family with others over and against the power of Christ to make sons and daughters of God. By faith we are saved, not by someone else's prayer.

However, I know that there is a close relationship between this faith and prayer. I pray for others to hear the One calling out to them. I cry out for their soul's restoration, their mind's freedom, and their heart's right and free choice to be with the Lord. So my prayers become a prequel to faith.

In this sense I am family with everyone: the most important relationship I have with them is one shared relationship with God. We are all brothers and sisters because we have one Father. "Our Father in heaven" is still our Father whether we accept him or not. So everyone is at least potentially my spiritual family.

Although this seems to be in the realm of "might be's" and hope, I was hit last night and this morning about how prayer is able to draw us close to other people. It greatly increases our intimacy with each person I pray for.

I become an invisible companion with God and the person. I journey with them through their life and even hear things that God may be telling them that they do not yet hear. It sounds presumptuous, but it is well established in the Bible that when we hear God, we may be more aware of another person's needs or desires than they themselves are. Through prayer Dawn has seen more keenly into my life than I have on a number of occasions.

It is not easy, though. It hurts to be close and walk through other's pain and bad choices. It really can be a labor and burden. I have frequently put such prayers aside because of the suffering involved.

I see how easy it is to not "share in God's work." He suffers intensely as we go our way without him. He longs for us with all his heart. To share in God's work is also to share in God's pain.

What encourages me to keep going is that my desire to be close and at hand outweighs my fear of pain. With my children, I hurt when I see their pain or missteps, but I do not abandon them, I try to stay even closer. I hope that my presence will be some comfort to them, even if I cannot ease their pain or teach them the right way effectively.

Also intimacy with God strenghtens me for the task, when I lose hope and endurance. Actually, this intimacy I would identify as adoration. "'The most fundamental need, duty, honor, and happiness of men is not petition or even contrition, nor again, even thanksgiving. . . but adoration. . . .' In adoration we enjoy God. We ask nothing except to be near him." (p.91)

Lord, I find that I long to be near to you and near to the people around me. Such nearness brings pain - sometimes excruciating - but it is far better than the coldness of being alone. Let me seek to pray for others so that I may be closer to them and closer to you. This is the heart of intercession - intimacy. Enlarge my heart. Turn it from a heart of stone to one of flesh. Amen.

This thought helps me to realize my reluctance to intercede for others as well as the uppermost goal lies in intimacy. People do not need answers as much as they need companions and family. Even the promise of eternal life is not a promise of knowing answers but Jesus' goal "that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." (Jn. 17:3)

Prayer and Action

Photo from "Love at the Heart of Things" by E. Glen Hinson

Devotional Classics, p. 90, Douglas Steere, Excerpts from Prayer and Worship

"Holy obedience to the insights, the concerns that come, that persist, and that are in accord with cooperation with God's way of love is not only the active side of prayer, but is the only adequate preparation for future prayer."

True prayer leads me into future prayer. It is not an isolated action that begins and ends like a question/answer session or a lecture. It is conversation.

I find that when my prayers merely become a search for answers, they become more like lists and less like a continuing correspondence. I do find lists very helpful, even when talking with people, since I forget things so easily, but they are usually just precursors or even some interferences that must be dealt with prior to having a real conversation with someone. If a list makes up most of my conversation with someone, I would not see that as an intimate relationship, but as one of a coworker or acquaintance.

It is not to say that prayer is merely conversation. Prayer must be woven into real life to be real, or it really is just words. The actions inspired by prayer and then taken make prayer and the relationship behind it real. If there is no co-mingling of life and prayer, "if we ignore these leadings, they poison future prayer." (p.90)

I remember a while ago that one of the most important things I wanted my kids to know about me was that I listened and cared about them, so I made it a practice to make sure that I did what I said I would do. I tried to make sure that I would not forget to do what I said I would do. When I say I will do something with or for my child and then I neglect to do it, I show I was not really listening or that I don't really care. Action is an integral part of real conversation and real trust. That is why Jesus assures us, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will opened to you." (Mt. 7:7) (Also, on the side, it may give a hint as to who the swine and dogs are in the verse prior to this one: times when people bring me concerns and questions and I do not respond helpfully or at all. May with just a "Be warmed and be filled. . . ")

Lord, I am overcome with the many words that I say without following them with real concern, care, or action. Help me to prune my words to be ones that I mean to perform and not merely say. Help me to say what I do and do what I say even (especially?) in the smallest things of life, so that I may be faithful to do them in the "bigger" things as well. Amen

I think that the practice I hope to continue and enlarge in my life is to "simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes' and your 'No', 'No.'" (Mt. 5:37) Also when I say something, especially in prayer, I want to pray and wait "to be established in the power that will enable [me] to carry out these leadings. 'I will wait for the strength to fulfill it.' Here in the silence as the power gathers, it is well to face the difficulty one will meet in carrying out this concern. . . . They need to be met and overcome in the silence." (p.90) Prayer becomes leading, leading becomes intention, intention becomes action, and action returns me to prayer.

Prayer and Intimacy

Photo from "Love at the Heart of Things" by E. Glen Hinson

Devotional Classics, p. 88 - Douglas Steere, Excerpts from Prayer and Worship

"There is no greater intimacy with another than that which is built through holding him or her up in prayer."

Dawn and I have been talking a bit about intimacy lately. How do you get close to other people? How can we walk across the wide chasm of superficiality that seems to plague so many of our relationships?

I see this is one way that intercessory prayer can help me. Obviously I cannot merely lift people up to God in prayer with the sole goal of getting close to them. However, to lift someone up without being drawing nearer to them in intimacy makes my prayers seem wooden and empty, without love. Although my prayer may not begin with intimacy, I hope it will end there.

Also, I see how I can draw close to people who have no interest in drawing close to me. Whether they are my enemies or merely indifferent, I can draw close to them as I draw close to the God who loves them so dearly. I need not let my intimacy with others depend on their feelings and actions toward me.

The barriers to this kind of intimacy are many. They are mainly within my heart. I want other people to change, but I do not want to change or to have to do anything to help. Another quote from this section reflects this difficulty: "You may pray for the release of some area of life in a friend and find that you are called upon to set right something in your own life that has acted as a stumbling block to him." (p.89) Praying for others lays open the places of resistance within me.

I don't believe this need be a guilt-producing practice. I have more than enough pressure to "put feet to my prayers" and pray more for others. I think it is more a matter of praying deeply for others. Guilt makes me feel tempted to pray for others like I am ordering something at McDonald's. Conviction from the Holy Spirit reminds me that I am praying for them like they are a dearly loved brother, friend, or child.

I don't think God needs us merely to remind him of other people's needs. He wants me to be changed in the process. Everything I do I need to do with the goal of being more like Jesus. Sincerity in prayer is a must, although I don't often begin there. I just don't believe I can settle for less. "And do not keep babbling on like the pagans do, for they think they will be heard because of their many words." (Mt. 6:7) I don't need more prayers or longer lists of prayers, but prayers from my heart.

Lord, I long for the "words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart to be pleasing in your sight." (Ps. 19) I don't want my prayer to be merely words lost to my mind and heart the moment after I speak them. I find that often my heart and my mouth are disconnected. I pray for what I don't care about, and I don't show real concern for what I am praying for. Let them come together into something that pleases you and blesses others. Let me find inner community with everyone by taking part in your love for them. Amen.

This prayer inspires me to learn how to pray earnestly and to practice no prayer but that. I imagine like any other process of learning, the hardest part is unlearning bad habits. So I will seek to be silent when my words and meditations have not come together in love and seek first to be conscious of Who I am praying to and who I am praying for. Perhaps these words can help me: O God, you are love, desiring to be close to all of us. As our Father, you want us to love each other dearly as well. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.