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I long to see Christ formed in me and in those around me. Spiritual formation is my passion. My training was under Dallas Willard at the Renovare Spiritual Formation Institute. One of my regular prayers is this: "This day be within and without me, lowly and meek, yet all powerful. Be in the heart of each to whom I speak, and in the mouth of each who speaks unto me."

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Showing posts with label desire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label desire. Show all posts

Monday, October 10, 2011

Compassion Is Not Mostly About Feeling Good

Devotional Classics, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Excerpts from Life Together
Christianity means community through Jesus Christ and in Jesus Christ.  No Christian community is more of less than this.
[A Christian] needs his brother solely because of Jesus Christ.  The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother; his own heart is uncertain, his brother's is sure.  And that also clarifies the goal of all Christian community: they meet one another as bringers of the message of salvation.
Without Christ we should not know God, we could not call upon him, nor come to him.  But without Christ we also could not know our brother, nor could we come to him.  The way is blocked by our own ego.
If, before we could know and wish it, we have been chosen and accepted with the whole Church in Jesus Christ, then we also belong to him in eternity with one another.  We who live here in fellowship with him will one day be with him in eternal fellowship.
The more we received, the more we were able to give; and the more meager our brotherly love, the less were we living by God's mercy and love.
Not what a man is in himself as a Christian, his spirituality and piety, constitutes the basis of our community.  What determines our brotherhood is what that man is by reason of Christ.  Our community with one another consists solely in what Christ has done to both of us. . . .  The more genuine and the deeper our community becomes, the more will everything else between us recede, the more clearly and purely will Jesus Christ and his work become the one and only thing that is vital between us.
This dismisses the clamorous desire for something more.  One who wants more than what Christ has established does not want Christian brotherhood.  He is looking for some extraordinary social experience which he has not found elsewhere; he is bringing muddled and impure desires into Christian brotherhood.  Christian brotherhood is not an ideal which we must realize; it is rather a reality created by God in Christ in which we may participate.  (pp.271-275)
He is our peace. (Ephesians 2:14)
Because of the worship of feeling and desire that I have been exposed to for so long, I am frequently pushed by that "clamorous desire for something more."  It comes into just about every area of my life and brings dissatisfaction and worry in its path.  It eats away at love, joy, and peace.  It continually draws my attention to my pride and my "stomach."

This is no less true as I think about worship services.  Rather than enjoying the peace that Christ has brought and looking for his words and his face in the people I worship with, I am often worried about "looking for some extraordinary experience" or simply embracing indifference to worship and fellowship.  I have been known to say "It doesn't matter" about Christian fellowship from disappointment and even bitterness.

Neither indifference nor the worship of feeling and desire will cross the bridge of fellowship with other disciples.  One dismisses a primary means of God's goodness and grace: other believers.  The other dismisses the reason we gather: seeing Christ and him alone.  Our relationships and fellowship are subordinate to this one good, this hope, this desire: "Jesus Christ and his work [as] the one and only thing that is vital between us."

Yesterday, I aspired to enter the reality of that fellowship rather than trying to create an ideal of what I think fellowship should be.  I sought to pray for others and enjoy what they brought and most of all look for what God was trying to do in our time together.  I spent most of my time inviting God to join us and bathe us in his presence, since nothing we do in itself with bring about the change, the desire, the love, nor the peace that we need.  The songs, the words, the prayers are all empty without our being immersed in God's presence.

And so it also is with compassion.  I find I am easily pulled into thinking that compassion is a lot about what makes me feel good and useful.  I use it as a means of self-satisfaction, so that I can push away a number of unpleasant emotions, like guilt or empathy.  Compassion is not about having an "extraordinary experience."

Like worship, compassion cannot bring me closer to others in itself.  It too needs to be bathed in God's working presence.  Only then can it become what it needs to be for me and others I may help: both a "message of salvation" and a "reality in which we may participate."

Lord, deliver me from compassion that seeks to be a "powerful experience" or the tie that binds me to others.  It is a means for your grace.  It is a place where I may meet you and others who love you.  Let me not overvalue or demean this work, Father.  Amen.


I want this to be a constant reminder to me: "the more we received, the more we were able to give."  A lack of compassion is a lack of reception of God and his work in myself and in others.  I see that with service, I need not only to draw close to him myself, but invite his presence into each situation to do as he wills.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Virtue and Desire

Devotional Classics, Richard Rolle, Excerpts from The Fire of Love

"This surely is the way we turn to Christ: to desire nothing but him. To turn away from those "good things" of the world, which pervert rather than protect those who love them, involves the withering of physical lust and the hatred of wickedness of any sort. So you will find there are people who have not taste for earthly things and who deal with mundane matters no more than is absolutely necessary." (p. 162)

I find that many of the prayers I hear and offer have to do with the "good things" of this life. God indeed blesses me with many things I may not even notice. This time of year a number of people look forward to raises and bonuses. This year I prayed for a better year financially, but it had had a number of upsets. And yet, I am still well-fed and clothed and healthy.

Coming out of Thanksgiving, these "good things" have had their spotlight. Is Rolle really just a "Grinch?" Could he be a pale, raving prophet who wants to ruin everyone's happiness and joy? What he talks about apparently had no more appeal to those who read his book in the 1300's that for me in this day. The "freedom" I now have to get what I desire almost instantaneously has not made me desire Christ more, but probably wars against such a desire.

I find that the main point is this: When does my greed and accumulation of "stuff" turn my heart cold towards Christ and his life and his purposes? In my own experience, it doesn't take long. One of the purposes of virtue, then, seems to be keeping the heart aglow with love for God. The "good things" of life need to be taken sparingly, and only when they don't interfere with my love for Christ. This is virtue: the right (and sparing) use of the things of this world to increase and nurture a continuing and increasing love for God.

What is it to "desire nothing but" Christ? It seems to me that this means all other desire are weighed against my love for Christ. Whatever I may want needs to be considered in the light of this question: Will it draw me nearer to Jesus or take me away? The virtuous mind is one in which this desire for Christ is paramount and continually moving me toward what is good and away from what is worthless or evil.

This is so far beyond WWJD. It is not so much a matter of asking, but a matter of knowing. When I have the presence of God as my light, then whatever lessens it or snuffs it out needs to be carefully considered. This knowing is more than a mere internal experience. It must line up with deep and regular study and meditation on the Bible as well as how I treat people around me, from closest to most distant. (Funny how I can love "humanity" but hate my neighbor, coworker, or sibiling.)

Lord, let my mind be on you and your words of life so that I may develop this virtuous mind and heart which desire you first and foremost and allows all other desires no status or place except when they are for your presence, your gifts, or your people. Free me from the tyranny of always wondering about and seeking out what I want. I want to enter a different place where such desires only accompany and deepen my desire for you. Amen.

Rather than ask myself at every turn "Is this OK?" I believe I need to continue to increase my desire for God and take notice when other things get in the way. The competition of such desires will alert me to their ill-placed status. As Jesus said, "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate one and love the other or be devoted to one and despise the other." (Mt. 6:24) God will also get in the way of a love for the "good things" of this world as surely as they will get in the way of my love for God. This is not because God is against good things or desire as such, but because they are in different directions entirely; to go one way is to abandon the other. That is why I cannot "serve both God and money."