A Careful Balance

Before time itself was measured, the Voice was speaking.

    The Voice was and is God.

This celestial Word remained ever present with the Creator;

     His speech shaped the entire cosmos.

Immersed in the practice of creating,

    all things that exist were birthed in Him.

His breath filled all things

    with a living, breathing light—

A light that thrives in the depths of darkness,

    blazes through murky bottoms.

It cannot and will not be quenched.

(Jn 1:1-5)

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!”

Jesus replied, “Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.” So he traveled throughout Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and driving out demons.

(Mark 1:35-39)

Somewhere we know that without a lonely place our lives are in danger. Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, without distance closeness cannot cure. Somewhere we know that without a lonely place our actions quickly become empty gestures. The careful balance between silence and words, withdrawal and involvement, distance and closeness, solitude and community forms the basis of the christian life and should therefore be the subjects of our most personal attention. Let us therefore look somewhat closer, first at our life in action, and at our life in solitude. (Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude)

 Prayer

Lord, grant me a taste for solitude so that I might find in my heart the holy place where you live and can tell you truthfully how I am feeling. Grant me also an understanding of when to act in response to your call to me. Amen.

Advent Action

Our Lord went out to a deserted place to pray before he started his journey throughout Galilee to proclaim the message of the Good News. Look back on your past life and identify as active moments. also examine the times of solitude you have experienced. Assess how you functioned under both conditions. Make sure that in the midst of Advent season there is a balance between the two aspects of your spiritual journey. 

 

(from Advent and Christmas Wisdom of Henri Nouwen) 

Let God Hear Your Voice

 I am completely numb, totally spent, hopelessly crushed.

    The agitation of my heart makes me groan.

(Psalm 38:8, The Voice)

Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, 

and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. 

From inside the fish 

Jonah prayed to the Lord his God.

(Jonah 1:17-2:1, NIV) 

 

When the course of his priestly assignment was completed, [Zechariah] went back home. It wasn’t long before his wife, Elizabeth, conceived. She went off by herself for five months, relishing her pregnancy. “So, this is how God acts to remedy my unfortunate

condition!” she said.

(Luke 1:24-25, Message)  

 

John Skinner's story of the novice monk has impressed upon many of us the words of council the novice was given:

 

Go to your cell, 

and your cell will teach you everything.

 

The cell is a place of being shut away with God, and with yourself. This may be a physical place or just a choice to be opened to Him in an interior way. We know it is exactly what we need, but avoid time alone and find other things to address in order to delay it. . . 

 

The son felt fenced in. His Father took him to the fence and bid him look. He looked and he did not notice a hedge of thorn or a barbed wire entanglement. He saw a fence of feathers. 

 

'With his feathers shall he make a fence for you.' The son remembered how once he had said, 'There are days when little things go wrong, one after another, and I am distracted by much serving. Such days are very trying.' Then the Father had said, 'On such days take yourself take to yourself the words of your Savior and which you have so often given to others. Let them be your solace and your tranquility. But tell me, when you are under pressure, do you turn first to your companions or to me? Your companions listen and respond, but you never tell me about it. Let me see your face, let me hear your voice.  

Amy Carmichael

Into the Desert with Jesus

 You have surrounded me on every side, behind me and before me,

    and You have placed Your hand gently on my shoulder.

(Psalm 139:5, The Voice)

Who is this coming up from the wilderness

    leaning on her beloved?

(Song of Songs 8:5a, NIV)

Garden of Gethsemane

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Very early in the morning, 

while it was still dark, 

Jesus got up, 

left the house 

and went off to a solitary place, 

where he prayed.

(Mark 1:35, NIV)

We are asked to follow the footsteps of our Lord when they are not clear on the road, and even when the road runs through desert. 

Going into the desert we are never quite sure what to expect. Being alone can be peaceful, or frightening, or just don't nothing. But coming out of the desert we find that we are leaning on him in a new way. 

The Russian word poustinia only means desert, but is the name given to the wooden hut where someone is shut away for time alone with God. 

It is a typical experience for the person undergoing poustinia to feel nothing is happening at all, but as they emerge they find others waiting, pressing them to share what God has given them in the poustinia. 

And they will not be disappointed.

(Northumbria, Aidan readings, Dec. 5)

Prayer and Solitude

spiritualityandpractice.com

Devotional Classics, Henri Nouwen, Excerpts from Making All Things New

"One of the early Christian writers describes the first stage of solitary prayer as the experience of a man who, after years of living with open doors, suddenly decides to shut them." (p.96)

Jesus tells me similar things. "But when you pray, go into your room and close the door and prayer to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you." (Mt. 6:6) Also, a hymn that has moved me recently speaks the same thing:

I heard the voice of Jesus say, "Come unto me and rest.
Lay down thou weary one, lay down thy head upon my breast."
I came Jesus as I was: weary and worn and sad.
I have found in him a resting place and he has made me glad.

So the first part of this solitary prayer is closing the door. I continue to see that the first part of devotion is letting go of something before I can receive something. When I close the door, I start to let go of the desire to be impressive or even respected. When I close the door, I start to rest from my frantic desires to get ahead or make up for my weaknesses.

My wife, Dawn, has often remarked that it is not in the midst of a frenzied week that she becomes sad or sick, but during the rest that follows. Something about this letting go seems to bring allow her to experience being "weary and worn and sad." I have had similar experiences in solitary prayer. When I stop and seek the Lord, I find out how weary I am.

I think this has made me reluctant to stop at times, almost as if God makes me sad. But it is not that. Solitary prayer makes me aware of the weariness that I've had all along. If that weariness goes unchecked, I find I begin to see it manifest in other ways: my besetting sins resurface, my body begins to get sick, my relationships begin to deteriorate, and my heart turns away from God with suspicion or indifference.

I find that I have been letting everything into my life indiscriminately. I am weary because I have too many masters, demanding my time and energy. Solitude begins with shutting the door on these masters and seeking my one true Lord. I need recalibration because I drift.

Of course, these other masters see my solitary prayer as "wasted time" and a "strange period of uselessness." (p.96) I have heard that this is one of the best indicators that I am spending time alone with God: I have some sense from others and myself that I am "wasting time." I find that only then am I truly resting in Him.

Lord, there are so many words, so many things to do, so many things to study and understand, but I find that these things are empty without you guiding me through them. I would rather have one word from you, one small calling to fulfill, and just the certainty of your love for me and others than anything else. "Whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ." (Php. 3:7) Help me to truly rest in you, Father, and leave the many other voices behind. Amen.

At home, I must teach my kids to close the door so that we don't let the heat out or let the bugs in. Now I must teach my heart the same thing, because I want to keep the heat in and the bugs out of there as well. My door edges open somewhere in the afternoon because I become engrossed with all that I think I have to do. I need a "time of refreshing" somewhere in there to close the door. Many prayer offices include three times of prayer in the day. Perhaps that will do to begin with. . . .