Virtue and Turning

Devotional Classics, Richard Rolle, Excerpt from The Fire of Love

"Before we can experience even a little of God's love, we must be really turned to him, and, in mind at least, be wholly turned from every earthly thing. The turning is indeed a matter of duly ordered love, so that, first, we love what we ought to love and not what we ought not, and, second, our love kindles more towards the former than to the latter." (p.162)

Being virtuous its rewards. Freedom from shame and guilt. Newfound strength. Reconciliation in relationships with others. But at the top of the list is the experience of God's love. Actually, I find without this "reward," none of the others make virtue stick.

This is the reason that turning is required. I must turn not only to God, but away from every "earthly thing." Contrary to popular opinion, I do not think this is because God is the cosmic killjoy. This has to do with the nature of the human heart and with the nature of love itself.

There is only room for one God in any persons life. One of the greatest problems with polytheism is its denial of reality. The same holds true for agnosticism. I cannot serve more than one god, neither can I not serve any god. In the end, whatever service I render to other people, gods, or desires comes down to one focal point. That focal point is the place of worship to my one god.

Jesus explains it this way: "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate one and love the other or be devoted to one and despise the other." (Mt. 6:24) In the ten commandments, it goes this way, "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me." (Ex. 20:1-2)

Instead of turning away from other "gods" and toward the true God, I want to have God AND other things. Instead of turning, I find myself stacking. I try to gather all the things that make me feel comfortable, safe, and happy into a pile that I can pick and choose from. Unfortunately, with stacking, there still is an order - something ends up on top.

So turning is a matter of "duly ordered love." What's on top? Rolle says that the way my deck is stacked will be obvious soon enough. "Love for God and love for the world cannot coexist in the same soul: the stronger drives out the weaker, and it soon appears who loves the world, and who follows Christ." (p.163) As much as I would love to stack and "have it all," I find that virtue - loving God and his ways - lies in a completely different direction than loving the passing things of this world. One must be ignored to seek the other. So I must turn.

Rolle explains such turning in two steps. First there is doing what I ought to do. This is deciding upon what is good and right and from God and seizing upon it. Then love kindles or alights in the process of decision and action. If I wait until love kindles without doing what I ought to do, I find myself merely doing what I desire, good or not. This leads to confusion and almost inevitably toward vice rather than virtue. If I do what I ought and love never kindles in me, I am on the fast track to burnout and despair. I think virtue begins with duty and ends with delight when it is practiced correctly.

Lord, I think I can have the world and you. I end up running back and forth between the two, or stretching my life to encompass both. Help me to let go of this world and turn to you. In many ways, I think the biggest challenge is the letting go and trusting that the delight will follow. Bring to mind your many delights and blessings and stir gratitude in my heart so that my turning may be complete. Amen.

There is "botched" virtue that practices virtue as a duty, but never learns to delight. I find myself swimming in this kind of virtue frequently. I feel the lack of delight because I have not let go entirely of the delight in the sin or distraction. Since I still hold on, my duty always remains a strain and I find it hard to see any delight in being with God instead. Trust is the vital ingredient. I can only let go completely when I know that something much better awaits. Thus I must pray, read, and ponder about such things since they are frequently clouded by lies and distractions.

Virtue and Shame

Devtional Classics, Richard Rolle, Excerpt from The Fire of Love

"The eager love of the wicked. . . is always for what is shameful. They have ceased from all spiritual exercise, or at least are flabby and feeble. Their love has no pattern, being given more to things that are of this world than of the next, more to bodies than to souls." (p.163)

Isn't it amazing that I can love something shameful? It seems almost a contradiction in terms. Things that inspire love are beautiful, true, right, and good, not shameful. So how does this desire get planted in my heart?

Perhaps one reason is that shameful things are easy things. Almost without exception. The only thing that makes them difficult is the effort to look good while trying to do them. Then comes the lying, hiding, accusing, etc. Loving shameful things is like walking downhill, going along the broad road and the wide gate. Cruising.

Maybe another appeal to shameful things is how I can "fall into them" without planning or thinking things through. No exercise is needed, just relax and enjoy the ride. Somehow, such things just "come up" easily without any intention to do them at all. They seem to look for me, so I do not have to look for them.

Perhaps they are more available. No waiting. Live in the now. They involve what belongs to this age, what is right here, right now. There is little need for hope and expectation. The things of this world, this age are so easy to come by, while the things of the Age to Come are much harder to find, seemingly.

Maybe the pull of my body is so strong, that shameful things are inevitable. My soul seems to be a wispy, immaterial thing meant for another day, another time, another life. The demands of the body are so obvious, so powerful, so hard to ignore. When the body calls, very few people will question its needs. I can excuse my love of shameful things and even call them "bodily needs," like getting hungry or thirsty. Who can deny that?

And yet there is that nagging feeling of shame with the the sobering thought of "Maybe this isn't a good idea." If the love of shameful things is all so inevitable, where does that come from? Merely a nagging superego, a left-over parent who doesn't know when to be quiet? Social and cultural pressure? Maybe. Not all the voices in my head are true.

Then there is the possibility of evil. My soul may be bent out of shape so that I do what I do not want to do, as Paul writes about in Romans 7. I find that I am not in control of my life. Parts of my life are opposed to another, so I do shameful things, things I do not want to do. This is a broken soul: one that does not bring my life together, but makes my feelings and my thoughts serve desires I do not want to have.

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me?" Paul exclaims in exasperation in Romans 7. It certainly seems to have the upper hand. Virtue may not be natural, like these shameful things, but one of the great rewards of a virtuous life is the lack of shame. The lack of shame is not necessitate self-righteousness. Really I find that self-righteousness is a defensive posture that works hand in hand with shame.

No, freedom from shame through virtue brings the opposite of what these desires for shameful things bring. Instead of being feeble and flabby from lack of spiritual exercise, there is a sense of spiritual strength and wholeness. Instead of being blown here and there by every wind of desire, life and love have a pattern and a meaning. Instead of merely living in this present evil age, the Age to Come breaks into this existence, showing the "world" is not all-encompassing, but really a small rebellious faction that will be removed in time. Instead of following bodily desires around to the point of distraction and misery, my soul takes form so that the parts of my life - my thoughts, my feelings, my body as well - begin to work together for good instead of pulling in opposite directions with disparate desires.

Lord, I see the good news from you is that the horizons of virtue have expanded through Jesus. No longer is virtue isolated to religious moments or to just the right kind of people, but now it is open to every moment in my life and to everyone who would follow Jesus. Christ is the pattern of life and of love that can make virtue a powerful presence in my life. Free me from shame, feebleness, and flabbiness in my spirit by the grace present through your Spirit and by the hope present in Jesus, my Father. Amen.

Shame can spiral me down into further degradation. I get ashamed so I need my "fix." Instead, I want to let my experience of shame propel me into the hope of a life without shame. I will let me shame be my guide into what areas of my life need a "work out." (After all, aren't I supposed to "work out" my salvation?)

Virtue and Desire

Devotional Classics, Richard Rolle, Excerpts from The Fire of Love

"This surely is the way we turn to Christ: to desire nothing but him. To turn away from those "good things" of the world, which pervert rather than protect those who love them, involves the withering of physical lust and the hatred of wickedness of any sort. So you will find there are people who have not taste for earthly things and who deal with mundane matters no more than is absolutely necessary." (p. 162)

I find that many of the prayers I hear and offer have to do with the "good things" of this life. God indeed blesses me with many things I may not even notice. This time of year a number of people look forward to raises and bonuses. This year I prayed for a better year financially, but it had had a number of upsets. And yet, I am still well-fed and clothed and healthy.

Coming out of Thanksgiving, these "good things" have had their spotlight. Is Rolle really just a "Grinch?" Could he be a pale, raving prophet who wants to ruin everyone's happiness and joy? What he talks about apparently had no more appeal to those who read his book in the 1300's that for me in this day. The "freedom" I now have to get what I desire almost instantaneously has not made me desire Christ more, but probably wars against such a desire.

I find that the main point is this: When does my greed and accumulation of "stuff" turn my heart cold towards Christ and his life and his purposes? In my own experience, it doesn't take long. One of the purposes of virtue, then, seems to be keeping the heart aglow with love for God. The "good things" of life need to be taken sparingly, and only when they don't interfere with my love for Christ. This is virtue: the right (and sparing) use of the things of this world to increase and nurture a continuing and increasing love for God.

What is it to "desire nothing but" Christ? It seems to me that this means all other desire are weighed against my love for Christ. Whatever I may want needs to be considered in the light of this question: Will it draw me nearer to Jesus or take me away? The virtuous mind is one in which this desire for Christ is paramount and continually moving me toward what is good and away from what is worthless or evil.

This is so far beyond WWJD. It is not so much a matter of asking, but a matter of knowing. When I have the presence of God as my light, then whatever lessens it or snuffs it out needs to be carefully considered. This knowing is more than a mere internal experience. It must line up with deep and regular study and meditation on the Bible as well as how I treat people around me, from closest to most distant. (Funny how I can love "humanity" but hate my neighbor, coworker, or sibiling.)

Lord, let my mind be on you and your words of life so that I may develop this virtuous mind and heart which desire you first and foremost and allows all other desires no status or place except when they are for your presence, your gifts, or your people. Free me from the tyranny of always wondering about and seeking out what I want. I want to enter a different place where such desires only accompany and deepen my desire for you. Amen.

Rather than ask myself at every turn "Is this OK?" I believe I need to continue to increase my desire for God and take notice when other things get in the way. The competition of such desires will alert me to their ill-placed status. As Jesus said, "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate one and love the other or be devoted to one and despise the other." (Mt. 6:24) God will also get in the way of a love for the "good things" of this world as surely as they will get in the way of my love for God. This is not because God is against good things or desire as such, but because they are in different directions entirely; to go one way is to abandon the other. That is why I cannot "serve both God and money."