Prayer and Intimacy

Photo from "Love at the Heart of Things" by E. Glen Hinson

Devotional Classics, p. 88 - Douglas Steere, Excerpts from Prayer and Worship

"There is no greater intimacy with another than that which is built through holding him or her up in prayer."

Dawn and I have been talking a bit about intimacy lately. How do you get close to other people? How can we walk across the wide chasm of superficiality that seems to plague so many of our relationships?

I see this is one way that intercessory prayer can help me. Obviously I cannot merely lift people up to God in prayer with the sole goal of getting close to them. However, to lift someone up without being drawing nearer to them in intimacy makes my prayers seem wooden and empty, without love. Although my prayer may not begin with intimacy, I hope it will end there.

Also, I see how I can draw close to people who have no interest in drawing close to me. Whether they are my enemies or merely indifferent, I can draw close to them as I draw close to the God who loves them so dearly. I need not let my intimacy with others depend on their feelings and actions toward me.

The barriers to this kind of intimacy are many. They are mainly within my heart. I want other people to change, but I do not want to change or to have to do anything to help. Another quote from this section reflects this difficulty: "You may pray for the release of some area of life in a friend and find that you are called upon to set right something in your own life that has acted as a stumbling block to him." (p.89) Praying for others lays open the places of resistance within me.

I don't believe this need be a guilt-producing practice. I have more than enough pressure to "put feet to my prayers" and pray more for others. I think it is more a matter of praying deeply for others. Guilt makes me feel tempted to pray for others like I am ordering something at McDonald's. Conviction from the Holy Spirit reminds me that I am praying for them like they are a dearly loved brother, friend, or child.

I don't think God needs us merely to remind him of other people's needs. He wants me to be changed in the process. Everything I do I need to do with the goal of being more like Jesus. Sincerity in prayer is a must, although I don't often begin there. I just don't believe I can settle for less. "And do not keep babbling on like the pagans do, for they think they will be heard because of their many words." (Mt. 6:7) I don't need more prayers or longer lists of prayers, but prayers from my heart.

Lord, I long for the "words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart to be pleasing in your sight." (Ps. 19) I don't want my prayer to be merely words lost to my mind and heart the moment after I speak them. I find that often my heart and my mouth are disconnected. I pray for what I don't care about, and I don't show real concern for what I am praying for. Let them come together into something that pleases you and blesses others. Let me find inner community with everyone by taking part in your love for them. Amen.

This prayer inspires me to learn how to pray earnestly and to practice no prayer but that. I imagine like any other process of learning, the hardest part is unlearning bad habits. So I will seek to be silent when my words and meditations have not come together in love and seek first to be conscious of Who I am praying to and who I am praying for. Perhaps these words can help me: O God, you are love, desiring to be close to all of us. As our Father, you want us to love each other dearly as well. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.