"Many have tried to escape temptations only to find that they more grievously fall into them. We cannot win this battle by running away alone; the key to victory is true humility and patience; in them we overcome the enemy. If we merely turn away from temptation outwardly and do not strike at the root, we will make very little progress. In fact, you will find that the temptations will return more quickly and powerfully, and you will feel even worse. Little by little, through patient endurance of spirit (with the help of God), you will win a better victory than by your own determination. The beginning of all evil temptations is an unstable mind and a small trust in God." (p.185)
The trouble with temptation is that "wherever you go, there you are." Temptation lives in my desire and I take my desire with me wherever I go. It is a thought accompanied by a sense of pleasure. These occur with some regularity throughout my day.
One relief is that temptation is not in itself wrong. My will has not been brought to bear. I have not made a choice. . . yet. When I mistake temptation for sin, I live a defeated life and misunderstand the nature of spiritual growth and salvation. I will not be saved from temptation in this life, any more than Jesus was. However, like Jesus and in his company, I can hope to overcome temptation.
Although temptation is a thought and a feeling and the fight against temptation is within my mind, the victory against temptation is found elsewhere. Victory against temptation is found in the heart. I am tempted because of a "small trust is God" and a lack of "true humility and patience." The orientation of the heart is what strengthens or weakens temptation. The less I trust God and yield to his desires and goodness, the less I am willing to wait on him to save me from my troubles, the greater temptations will become. Conversely, the more I trust God and delight in what he delights in and rely on him for help, the more temptations move into the realm of passing thoughts with no appeal.
Without my cry to God, I am working "in the flesh," that is, by my own ability and determination. This is bound to fail. It does not hit the root of the matter, but ends up merely pruning the branches of the temptation and making it grow larger. What I mean is that the more I rely on my own determination to fight temptation, the less I rely on God and trust in him, and then find that the temptation grows in strength because it grows where there is little trust in God. I may find that I exchange one behavior for another, but root of pride and self-reliance remains which gives temptation its strength.
So I cannot run away from temptation. Neither can I fight temptation directly with my own "will-power." Instead I must face temptation and endure it, not by focusing on it, but by calling out to God for help and salvation and waiting on him. I fight the temptation in the battlefield of my mind by learning how to continually focus on God in his goodness and in what he desires. Temptation indicates where I have wavered in my attention on God.
In this way temptations can serve me. I can find the places and times in my life where I lose track of God. (The Prayer of Examen is helpful for this. See http://messagescraps.blogspot.com/2011/08/prayer-of-examen-examined.html) Temptation is, at its heart, forgetting God. The kinds of thoughts and feelings and the where and when I have them inform me of my weaknesses. "Temptations reveal our instability and our lack of trust in God; temptations reveal who we are. That is why we must pay attention to them." Humility and patience are the willingness and desire to bring God into those areas of my life, so that he is all in all.
Basically, I need to learn how to have his desires, the desire for good, at the center of my life instead of my own desires a the center. I trust that if I seek God's interests and desires, he will richly supply my own in his way and in his time. Instead of all thoughts and choices going through the "Do I want to?" filter first, I need to bring them through the "Is this God's good?" filter first.
I am tempted to neglect work at times. I find that when faced with certain tasks, I have a feeling of boredom or even frustration. I have been learning to submit to such work because I anticipate that God will take such things, even if they seem unimportant, and create patience and kindness and endurance in me through them. When things are particularly difficult I call out for help and God comes quickly most times. I am learning that trusting God is doing these tasks out of love and service to him, knowing that he is my "boss" and will take care of my wants and needs. Trusting God enables me to change my thoughts about the work and then my feelings follow.
I could change my thoughts about the work in other ways, without trusting God, but instead relying on "positive thinking" or pride in being a good worker. These attitudes take the work I do and build up my trust in my own abilities apart from God, what is called "the flesh" in the Bible. Unfortunately, as I build up the pride in my flesh, which leads to greater desire towards pleasing myself and looking good to impress other people. In the end, this strengthens the temptation to be bored or frustrated at work, because my flesh growls about not being satisfied or appreciated.
With God as my trust, the boredom and frustration are replaced with joy in seeing God work in and through my work to increase humility and endurance in my life as well as blessing other people with my work and my attitude. The growling of my flesh for satisfaction or appreciation becomes quieter in the pleasure of seeing God honored and pleased and other people blessed and encouraged to serve God in their own lives, even in small ways.
Lord, as temptations come my way today, let me think on you and call out to you. Let me not be afraid, but excited that through overcoming temptation. "Peace is not found by escaping temptations, but by being tried by them. We will discover peace when we have been tried and come through the trial of temptation." You are my strength and my hope. Amen.
I want to work more on the "tail end" of temptation. I want to be able to use temptation to further my walk with God. I see that through temptation, I can become aware of my weakness and where I need God more in my life. Also, I can see where the flesh has more sway to complain by seeing where I crave satisfaction and appreciation most. I want to be mindful of this. Only in this will virtue become implanted in my life in the places I need it most instead of in places where I will be tempted to make a show of it.
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