I feel I must repeat this important point: at the beginning we must not become content with the consolations we may receive at the early stages [of prayer]. That would be like building our house on sand. At this stage you are beginning to build a beautiful castle, and you must build it on strong virtues, not on temporary consolations. Neither should we complain about a lack of consolation at this stage. Rather embrace the Cross which Jesus bore upon his shoulders and realize that this Cross is yours to carry too. We are free in the same measure we are able to suffer. (p. 198)
If then, you sometimes fall, so not lose heart. Even more, do not cease striving to make progress from it, for even out of your fall God will bring some good. . . . Our sins can have the effect of leading us back to God and striving all the more. (p.198)The only way to overcome temptation and sin is through perseverance. Do not give up! This is the difference between marriage and divorce, heroes and villains, joy and apathy. When overcoming becomes a habit, trials and temptations bring joy. (James 1:1)
Teresa explains the temptation to give up by using an allegory. She describes the various stages of coming to know God by using the image of a castle with many rooms. As a person grows, he moves from one room to another. Not persevering leads to remaining in a room or even leaving the castle of knowing God altogether.
Three things can keep me from persevering: consolation, desolation, and temptation. The first is early success. Teresa's "consolations" are times in which God shows up and often dramatically. "Mountain-top" spiritual experiences are wonderful, but trap me because I am tempted to go back to find them. There is nothing wrong with enjoying powerful experiences with God, but as C. S. Lewis says, the most dangerous word here is, "Encore!"
I love how Teresa ties this with building my life ("house") on sand. My experience of God's goodness fluctuates for many reasons. The sure foundation is not a particular kind of experience with God, but a particular kind of character in myself from being with God. That character is called virtuous. It is when the goodness of God begins to form in my habits and daily living. That is the "rock" to build life on: obedience to Christ's commands by his strength.
The reason I become trapped by consolations is because I value the experience more than the growth in character and virtue that I may obtain through such an experience. Consolations are inevitable in a walk with a God who longs to satisfy the desires of my heart. I have to hold them lightly, though. The thought that helps me let them go is realizing that the best is yet to come. Perseverance is letting go of such consolations because of the desire to press "onward and upward" into being good more than just experiencing good.
The second barrier to perseverance comes from "desolations." This is a lack of consolation. Desert times, dry spells, and boredom show up in desolation. Spiritual aridity causes many people to turn back in their walk with God. I find that I may wonder if I took a wrong turn somewhere and try to review and relive past experiences in order to find God's consolation. "Encore" again.
I have come through these times of desolation by not giving in to fear. Even if I don't sense him, God is near and will not abandon me. Even if I have taken a wrong turn, the best thing to do when lost is to stay put. Wait on God for rescue from these times in the wilderness. Usually, I find that he continues to grant consolations in these times, but they are quieter and more easily over looked. Instead of an ocean of joy and power I may sense in a spiritually "high" moment, I am treated with a small oasis of hope or peace. It is no wonder that these "small" consolations can be even more meaningful that "big" ones just because of where they occur - in the desert. The contrast heightens their force.
My worst sins creep out in times of desolation. The desire to elicit feeling - any feeling - is strong when the days seem gray and God, far away. This is where fear comes in and where my faith and trust is God is tested. He usually comes relatively quickly, within and hour or two of my cry for help and often immediately. He grants small assurances of his presence and love that point to better times with him. Remembering his faithfulness helps a lot more than aching for better times and experiences.
Finally, temptation wears away at perseverance. Temptations come as thoughts with an inclination or desire to fulfill the thoughts. When such thoughts are harbored or acted upon, they become sin. Before the action or the holding on to the temptation, it is not sin, just temptation. These can be overcome.
The best way to overcomes them is to have other thoughts. I need to fill my mind with other things than the thoughts that are tempting. With this thoughts may come, but usually they are without much inclination because my attention is focused elsewhere.
Second best is to turn from such thoughts immediately when they occur. The stronger my inclination, the quicker I have to turn away from such thoughts. This is where memorized sections of the Bible come into play. Also hymns and songs of praise can help divert my mind away from temptation. Also rather mundane activities like good work and good play can redirect my mind toward God and his goodness.
Finally, the last way to overcome temptation is to confess when I have been overcome and strive to make progress from it. Although this last way seems like defeat, it is only defeat if I let it discourage me enough to give up or deny that I have sinned. As hard as it is, confession is best practiced with a another trusted person who can remind me of God's love and forgiveness. In the face of failure, I need forgiveness to be able to make any progress from my sin. Other people can speak through the hurt, emptiness, and self-doubt I may have when I am in a "failure mode."
Recently, I gave into a temptation that plagues me. Filled with self-hatred and fear, I could not see a way out without the help of another person. Sometimes I need help even to cry out to God. From this I learned about spiritual death. Such death contains a never-ending amount of self-hatred, or "weeping and gnashing of teeth" to use the metaphor. It is to be caught in such a place with no hope of escape. Self-hatred yields self-destruction, whether slow or fast. Self-hatred is one of the indicators of giving up and lacking perseverance. In this case, I was given a new thought and motivation to help me stay away from temptation.
I see how consolations, "desolations," and temptations can become barriers to perseverance. The only way out is to develop a virtuous character under God's guiding, graceful hand. Here is how Jesus put it:
While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.” When he said this, he called out, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear . . .”
Lord, grant me a noble and good heart that thinks on you above all else and hears you, that stays with you even when bored or discouraged, and that perseveres through all sorts of temptations, even when I fall to them. Let me be an overcomer and not give up! Amen.“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts [desolation], so that they may not believe and be saved Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it [consolation], but they have no root [character]. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, [temptations] and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart [virtuous character], who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. (Luke 8:4-15)
Like so many things in life, the key to success in a life with God is just showing up and not giving up. By God's grace and mercy, we can do it.
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