Sick with Virtue

Devotional Classics, Theologia Germanica, Excerpts from The Theologia Germanica of Martin Luther

"It is the inner person who receives God's law, his word, and all his teachings. These show him how to become united with God. Where this happens, the outer person is structured and tutored by the inner person and learns that no outward law or teaching is needed, for human laws and commands belong to the outer person. They are needed when one knows nothing better." (p. 148)

One of the concerns when monitoring sicknesses in the public is the avenue of entry. How virulent a disease is in the public depends a lot on how it can infect a person. If the disease is not "contagious," the avenue of entry is improbable or even impossible. The more easily the disease is transferred from one person to another, the more "contagious" the disease is. This is what makes the flu more dangerous than gangrene in a public sense.

God's word is not communicable through outward laws and rules. They may be observed symptoms of an inner reality, but his communication with people does not occur merely through outward actions and observations. This is why public laws will never make people better nor will mere religion. Although there is outward conformity in both spheres that may make life better and easier for all, this is not, strictly speaking, receiving and following God's law and his words. Hopefully, they pave the way for God to speak with people in their hearts.

Outward conformity and outward motivational schemes abound because they produce outward results of apparent "goodness" and often outward rewards of money, respect, and satisfaction. This is not all bad, but fails to treat the real problem and develop real growth because it leaves the inside untouched. A person compelled to follow laws or develop virtue has not really become virtuous, but is merely "cashing in" on the outward benefits of his actions.

So, to begin with, how do I know if I've caught the "disease" of virtue, of following God's laws and words? What would be the symptoms of this disease? Jesus says that it can be tracked through the character of the person - his fruit (Mt.7:15-20). What kind of person am I? Am I getting "sicker" with love, defined as having joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc.(Gal. 6)? Are his commands, in themselves, a delight to me (Ps. 1:2)? Such symptoms truly indicate that I have "caught it" in the roots of my life.

This avenue of entry intrigues me. Certainly it is why Jesus told the Pharisees to clean the inside of the dish and the outside will be clean also (Mt. 23). So what does this mean for virtue in my life? I think that it means that as I learn to love God's commands, the virtue he has and expects, the "symptoms" of that love will be virtuous acts in my life, just like when I am infected with a cold virus, I will display cold-like symptoms. As long a virtue remains a bitter pill to swallow, it will not take root or really "infect" me, but become distasteful to me.

I have noticed my body expresses delight or distaste of God's laws and words. Doing things with "gritted teeth" is more than just a saying, it is an actual bodily response to doing distasteful activities. My body can only be truly retrained from the inside out, otherwise I fall into hypocrisy. Only through my embracing God's grace and goodness will virtue become a delight. I need the room to fail and learn and I need the understanding that virtue is what is truly good - that I'm not missing out on anything by being virtuous.

Lord, I see that I cannot do this alone, but need your help at all points, even choosing to start. I have been resistant in each step, but I find that you are gentle and will not merely impose virtue on me, but will continually invite me into your ways. Help me to see through the fog of misunderstanding I have that calls your laws and virtue "stifling" or "unnecessary." Strengthen me with your grace. Amen.

I cannot choose to get "sick" with virtue, but I can expose myself to it repeatedly and intentionally, hoping to "catch" it. The Bible is, of course, filled with the virus. However, I find that I have developed some immunity to seeking virtue by repeated exposure to biblical teachings and readings that are empty of the real "sickness" of virtue, by replacing it with merely "trying" to be good, or by hoping that it will merely by placed on me through some experience. Therefore, I find it helpful to supplement biblical teaching with the teaching of others who have really gotten "sick with virtue" and can read the Bible with fresh eyes and hear God with new ears. Of course, being around people who have caught the bug is the most effective, and eagerly I look for them.

Virtue and Understanding

Devotional Classics, Theologia Germanica, Excerpts from The Theologia Germaica of Martin Luther

"It may be commendable to ask, hear about, and gather information concerning good and holy persons, or how they have lived and how God has worked and willed in and through them. But it is a hundredfold better that people deeply within themselves learn and understand the what and the how of life. They need to learn what God is working and doing in them and how God wishes to use them and not use them." (p. 150)

"Nothing succeeds like success" the saying goes. So I find myself looking around myself, surfing the internet, or reading the latest personal or even church growth books, looking for success in virtue and getting things right. Somehow I think that the last bit of info didn't take because I didn't get just the "right" answer. I have read many a devotion book like a recipe or instruction manual, hoping that if I just get the proper procedure, I will break into that new and wonderful life and escape my old dead habits.

The temptation to accumulate knowledge is strong nowadays, since so much information is available and easily accessed. Really, that is only what it is: "gathering information." Somehow intelligence and success have been tied to this practice of gathering information. The other night I asked my family, "What does a really smart person look like?" I must admit that being full of information and facts came quickly to my mind.

I think James would agree with the writer of the Theologia in his assessment of this gathering of information. "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such 'wisdom' does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, and of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." (3:13-16) Gathering information generally does not go deep enough or inside enough to be useful.

Virtue cannot be learned or achieved in this way. The hard, fast throw of gathering information skips across the water of my mind, leaving little waves that quickly disappear. The writer suggests three things to submerge virtue and the right way to live into my life.

First, I need to learn and understand deeply. This sort of learning comes from reading and rereading material. I find that this precludes either skimming or merely quoting a mere phrase. Skimming and retaining quotes can remind me of things I have learned, but cannot replace learning and understanding. So I find that merely reading the Bible without studying it or memorizing verses without pondering or memorizing the surrounding context yields little understanding. However a person finds it, this deep understanding takes time and effort to work it from the surface of the mind into the "inner parts" of the mind, where it can influence a person's heart. The slowness of this kind of learning frustrates me when I am in a hurry and impatient for change, but without it, knowledge can never go deep enough to effect virtue at all. With spiritual knowledge, which is necessary for virtue, prayer must accompany my efforts because, as James says, such wisdom "comes down from heaven" and is not attainable merely through my own thinking.

Second, the content of my learning must embrace "the what and the how of life." I think of the "what" of life as the everyday, moment-by-moment occurrences I experience and effect. Whatever good things I may think about must be true to real life as it happens. I have children, a wife, a job, and I live in the presence and creation of God. Many seemingly "great" thoughts leave out or run over the "what" in life, making them impracticable. Virtue must be framed by real life to be real virtue. Now I find that virtue always involves real changes in my life, but they are changes that have more to do with my habits and expectations than with my circumstances.

The "how" of life is that most things do not happen just because I want them to. Prayer leads to action and action back to prayer in my experience. Virtue must be approached with much thought, but it must not stay there. It must be practiced. But one the realities of virtue is that it generally cannot be practiced directly without falling into hypocrisy or despair. I cannot merely practice being humble, or stopping anger. These sorts of things have to be approached indirectly. Studying them helps me a lot. I follow it by studying myself in God's presence, observing what leads me into virtue or away from him and his virtues (called the Examen of Conscience and Consciousness).

This leads into the last suggestion. He says I need to learn "what God is working and doing" in me. When I understand that virtue can only come to me through everyday life, I must learn to see it coming through my everyday life. When I learn that virtue comes only with practice and discipline, I must seek and find disciplines and practices that will address my specific problems and strengths. This requires walking with God. He addresses me as I pray and study as well as when I reflect on my day in the evenings and helps me to find certain holy habits that will indirectly deal with my barriers to virtue.

Lord, it is so nice to see continuity in so many writers who address developing a virtuous life. I like writing about it. Would that I was better at doing it. So many things come through "fits and starts," but you are faithful in driving them deeper into my heart by your grace. Let me not work too hard, forgetting your love and kindness. Let me not be lazy, forgetting your desire for Christ to live in me. May I live up to my words and up to your hopes, Father. Amen.

This reminds me about how I need to practice my personal reflection (Examen) more faithfully. This is one of the great things about reading writers like this and pondering them is that I can more easily see when I have left something important behind. In our family, we sing a song, "You've got to look behind you, before you move on to the next thing" so that we don't forget our things when we go somewhere else. Perhaps I'll being using that for my prayer in the evenings, so I don't leave anything important behind.

Virtue and Keeping Score

Devotional Classics, Theologia Germanica, Excerpts from Theologia Germanica of Martin Luther

"We have those who have been illumined by God and guided by the true Light. They do not practice the ordered life in expectation of reward. . . . They do what they do in the ordered life out of love. They are not so concerned about the outcome, about how a particular behavior will turn out, how soon, and so on. Their concern is rather that things will work out well, in peace and inner ease." (p.148)

I love the description of virtue as an "ordered life." What is virtue except the practice of doing things rightly, that is, at the right time, in the right spirit, and in the right order? Conversely, what is sin other than doing things wrongly in time, spirit, and order?

How can I hope to have an orderly life of virtue without light? Trying to order anything in the darkness is at least challenging, and often impossible. It's like drawing with my eyes closed. Only an approximation may come about, but more likely, a bunch of squiggles and lines that make no sense. Such is virtue without the Light of God shining in the person doing it.

And yet, even with the Light, my virtue looks a lot like the squiggles of a two-year old. My hand is not practiced and my eyes do not know what they see. This area is probably one of my worst. Virtue and holiness do not have much natural appeal to me. They speak of rigidness, discomfort, and the danger of self righteousness. But this writer speaks of love.

Such love begins with God who loves me, of course, but continues on to become a responding love in me. As my awareness and experience of God's love for me grows, so does my love for him. In loving God, I find a love for his words and his deeds. This love of God's righteous deeds is where virtue comes from. Just as many believers can "love God's words," I can also learn to "love God's virtue, his good deeds."

Such love of virtue becomes most apparent when the outcome of virtue is not so important. Loving to do what is right because it is right, because it is from God is the heart of virtue. This idea of letting go of the outcome, whether reward or improvement, is powerful to me.

I have practiced many (most, all?) virtues because I am eager for the outcome. It was to improve, impress, receive blessing. Measuring outcome is what all human achievement is based upon. In the sense that such outcome can guide me deeper into virtue through perfecting my action and enlivening my love for God, it is not a bad thing. But it quickly distracts me from the worship of God, who orders and sustains everything, and whose commandments create and sustain all life as well. Such love and worship is the wellspring of true virtue.

So I love the idea of virtue as an orderly life that God has created, orders, and sustains by means of the creation itself and his commands. Virtue becomes an art of living well in this life, like knowing and practicing dance steps for a dance. When the steps are hard, I know I am facing places where my desires have misguided my bodily actions, and where practice and strengthening are needed.

Lord of heaven, let me love your presence. Let me also love your virtue, your righteousness. Let the order and beauty of such a life infuse my mind with wonder and pleasure, my heart with plans and determination, and my soul with longing and hunger. Help me let go of results in favor of pleasing you and enjoying virtue for itself. Amen.

Doing right and well could really become a joy if I can "simply enjoy the doing of the task without looking at the 'scoreboard.'" (p.152) The only score I want to keep is the increase of peace in my life coming from the knowledge and love of a God of virtue.

Prayer and Ignorance

Devtional Classics, Jean-Nichlas Grou, Excerpts from How to Pray

"Every Christian ought to say to the Savior as humbly as [the disciples]: 'Lord, teach us to pray.' Ah! if we were only convinced of our ignorance and of our need of a Teacher like Jesus Christ!" (p.138)

What else is there except this as my beginning and my constant reminder? I must first be convinced of my own ignorance in prayer. The best of whatever "methods" there may be underscore this fact and hammer it into my soul. I need the Teacher to instruct me or I will find I am not praying at all, but speaking empty words like people who are speak only to themselves or some idol.

How can I develop this sense, this attitude of complete dependency on the Lord as I pray? I like the phrase "convinced of our ignorance." It means that when I come to pray, there is not a question of whether something I do will reach God or make me better. I am groping in the dark, whether I feel self-composed or frantic. Like entering a dark room without a light, my prayers must enter enter the darkness of my incapacity to reach God, or I have not entered the right room. It reminds me of Ex. 20:21: "The people stayed at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was."

Prayer is not about making things happen, but about meeting God. The first rule is meeting him in the darkness. Prayer is stretching out my hand and knowing that God will take it. I must accept the darkness, my ignorance, and not be afraid to grope around a bit. Prayer that is too habitual or predictable is one that remains at a distance from God. To approach God, I must enter the darkness of my own emptiness, limitation, and ignorance.

Yet, there is great comfort in this. Darkness is not comforting, but knowing that God will take my hand is. Knowing the Lord will be found in this darkness makes the darkness desirable and even pleasing. I begin to enter the place of prayer with expectation that he will meet me. I do not have to have all my prayers "right" or all my feelings in order; I find that God is close in my ignorance.

Lord, I do not want to stand far off from you because I am afraid of what you might do or what you might not do. Distance reveals my anger and fear. Call me to draw near to you in the darkness of my ignorance so I may find the light of your face. You are in the darkness, but you are not darkness, but light! I am blind every time I come, but you make me see all the time. Remind me today. Amen.

The alternative is all to familiar: heaped-up empty phrases. Me talking with no one answering. Routine and ruts. Confusion and emptiness. This is why my prayer must have some time and preparation. I need to remember what I hope for and not fear what I may have to go through. It's always worth it. I want to retain the wonder and dependency of one who is ignorant each time I pray. Let the groping be my reminder rather than a frustration.

Prayer and Love Yet Again

Devotional Classics, Jean-Nicholas Grou, Excerpts from How to Pray

"Love God and you will always be speaking to him. The seed of love is growth in prayer. If you do not understand that, you have never yet either loved or prayed." (p.140)

The phrase "Love God and you will always be speaking to him" lacks a lot of definition and specifics, but I believe it captures the heart of prayer. This idea has nourished a number of people as they seek God, especially when they find that their words fall so short of what lives within them. In one way, this seems to say loving God is speaking to him.

This is not so mysterious, nor even so incredibly mystical if I think about it. The supportive presence of a loved one in the room with me can be more than someone speaking words of comfort in dark days. When someone watches and delights deeply in something I do or say, I can often tell how deeply they are touched by little they say. Being overcome by feeling or passion seems to move me beyond words.

What is intimidating about this idea of loving God is that I cannot control my feelings directly. Yet I have found that my thoughts influence my feelings. True to what Dallas Willard writes about in Renovation of the Heart, thoughts and feelings are inextricably joined, so I can control my feelings indirectly by changing the direction of my thoughts. This is why pondering and delighting in choice phrases from the Bible is great preparation for prayer. The redirection of my mind toward the things of God inflame feelings of love, awe, joy, etc. in God.

I find that some thoughts are so powerful, they can nourish my heart with love and joy and peace for weeks on end. I do not have to constantly be trying to have new thoughts and new feelings when I am still feasting richly on one that carries me through the days. I remember on bit of advice about this, but I can't remember who said it. When reading and pondering the Bible, stop at the place where you are heavily affected or drawn to and let it do its work before moving on. This has helped me to truly delight in the word of God - scripture that truly speaks to me. Such words or phrases become a "watchword" for the day or longer.

When prayer becomes dry and empty, it is not a reason to panic, however. But if I learn to accept prayer as dry and empty, then there is reason to panic. Although everyone goes through dry "wilderness" times of prayer, those who love God ache and call out to him, while those who do not love God or understand it continue on in formality or just give up.

As prayer grows - and in my experience prayer grows deeper, affecting me more and more inwardly - it seeds a love for God that sprouts into my everyday existence. If prayer does not yield this kind of love for God, and eventually for other people, it is mere formality.

Another way to understand "Love God and you will always be speaking to him" is to say when I am loving God, then I will always be speaking to him. This is true as well, since love expresses itself. When someone is with me, even in silence, their face and hands can show love and will show love even if they are not speaking. Often, they will speak as well - maybe not a lot, but enough.

And so, I find that another way to hold the love of God before myself is to speak to him throughout the day. Often the phrases will be simple. It may be "Help" or just "Lord." It may be "Be near to me" or "Have mercy." I may talk to him about my kids or sing to him what's on my heart. Obviously this is akin to what I wrote about above, and for good reason. Those whom I love have my attention, my feelings, as well as much of my words. I share with them.

Silence can come from awe and deep feeling. It can also come from boredom, confusion, or derision. Silence that expresses love starts from the inside as calmness and serenity or at least a desire to not hurt someone. It pours out into my life. Whereas silence that is not love is imposed from the outside while my innards churn or boil with worry, anger, or lust. It seems to me that such silence comes from fear or anger. The words that eventually come from silence quickly determine its origin and purpose.

This is all to say that prayer that does not involve my heart - the very center of my being - is not really prayer at all. Words and feelings that move me toward God with love, these are prayers. I may begin by feeling "flat," but often I find I warm up to him and long to hear from him as I go on. It may be the most important attitude is hope, an anticipation of God's meeting me and the love that comes from that meeting.

Lord, today is one of those days in which I struggle to meet with you. Depression has crept in and I have sought distractions instead of your presence. I find on days like this that I resist speaking to you because I do not believe your love for me. I worry that you will be like so many people I meet, tying heavy burdens, placing them on my back, and not lifting a finger to help me. Pull me out of this mire. Let me see you for who you really are.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us;

as a father has compassion on his children,

so does the Lord have compassion on those who fear him. (Ps. 103:11-13) Amen.

The mechanics of prayer are not so difficult as the spirit of prayer. I do not find that actually praying is so hard as actually wanting to pray. Fear and anger are deeply embedded in my life from years of being both the giver and receiver of them. Love does not come naturally, but flows from a continual diet of learning and remembering God's goodness and his loving deeds. Today I need to remember that God is not a burden, but a redeemer, come to set me free.

Prayer and Exercising Faith

Devotional Classics, Martin Luther, Excerpts from Table Talk, etc.

"We should pray by fixing our mind upon some pressing need, desiring it with all earnestness, and then exercise faith and confidence toward God in the matter, never doubting that we have been heard." (p.133)

This matter of faith in prayer seems difficult. Is it merely positive thinking? Mind over matter? Perhaps much can be learned from this popular idea, if it is really taken seriously. What I mean is that mind is over matter because the Mind preceded Matter. God's intent and word preceded Creation of all kinds of matter - earthly and heavenly.

From a series of talks given by Dallas Willard (The Kingdom of God), I see that if I am to understand prayer in faith, I first must understand that everything exists because God made it and he made it be his words. "By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible." (Heb. 11:3)

This existence I have was not only created by God through his words, but is sustained and ordered by his word. "He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." (Col. 1:17) "Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures." (Ps. 119:89-90) So words make things happen in this universe. Certainly God's words, but also words with faith in God.

Faith or believing begins with understanding, but goes far beyond it. Believing accepts and adopts an understanding and makes it one's own. Faith is not a distant thought, but an urgent reality that presses in on me. I cannot try to believe something; I simply do or don't. My life illustrates my faith. People of faith in the Bible are often desperate people, willing to do anything to touch Jesus or beg from him.

I guess prayer, as I have often defined it, seems to remove this element of desperation often because "God is always there." Somehow this assurance can remove faith from my prayer. How? While there are no special rituals or feelings or words to make God do what I want him to, for my faith in God to be active may take more than just assuming that "God's there," it takes some form of longing and communication.

If prayer is more like a conversation and less like a slot machine, there has to be some way of finding that I have truly connected with God when I am speaking. No doubt he is "there," but are we really talking and sharing? When I ask my kids to do something, I need to be assured there is connection, or I might as well be "talking into the air."

So this faith transcends the "mind over matter" principle because it has to do with a relationship far more than with the internal state of my thoughts and feelings. Certainly, my thoughts and feelings will be fully involved, but their object will not be only be what I desire and how to get it, but who I am asking. His love is the most important part, but also I need to have a better sense of who I am asking and what he can really do.

How does one "exercise faith. . . toward God" as Luther says? Partly by just doing it. But there may be some other kinds of exercises that may increase faith, like weight lifting can enable better ability in a sport. One thing can be listening to God regularly. He tells me things that will increase my faith. Another is studying and remembering the Bible, not by "naming it and claiming it," but by reading each account as what could happen to anyone - even me! Another is to ask for faith from God. Reading any Gospel can bring many ideas of how to increase faith, since that is what Jesus came to do and what the Gospels are for. "These are written that you may believe. . . ." (Jn. 20:31)

Lord, would that I had the faith as big as a mustard seed! I see that faith is given more than developed, but I also see that you long to give faith to me and I need to learn how to receive it. I am slow to understand and do not see you rightly. May I work and act in faith and see your love and power revealed. May I stop trying to believe and begin to exercise my faith both directly and indirectly. Amen.

Really, life provides a perfect place for faith to grow. There are moments that call (or scream) for faith, for me to speak or act on the assumption that God really does care and that he really can do anything. There are moments in which I can work on faith indirectly by waiting on God, delighting in the scriptures, or repenting of my unbelief. God grant me the focus to seek such faith!

Dead Prayers

Devotional Classics, Martin Luther, Excerpts from Table Talk, etc.

"'Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks find, and to him who knocks the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for a loaf of bread will give him a stone? Or is he asks for a fish will give him a snake? If you, then, who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?' (Mt. 7:6-10)

"Are we so hard of heart that these words of Jesus do not move us to pray with confidence, joyfully and gladly? So many of our prayers must be reformed if we are to pray according to these words. To be sure, all of the churches across the land are filled with people praying and singing, but why is it that there is so little improvement, so few results from so many prayers? The reason is none other than the one Jesus speaks of when he says, 'You ask and you do not receive because you ask amiss' (Ja. 4:3) For where this faith and confidence is not in the prayer, the prayer is dead. (p.134)

The very last sentence is what grabs me. The possibility of a prayer being dead fills me with alarm. And yet, how else could Luther or I explain what we see around us? God promises lavish provision and, even in churches, there is great need and misery.

Not that I would expect a life without difficulty or suffering in this present evil age, but I would expect a people joyful and glad with confidence in their prayers and in their worship, as Luther writes. It is not the lack of "answered prayers" that makes me think prayer is dead, but that for all the answers received there is so little improvement and so few results in churches. (These are not my words only, but most people and many sociological studies reflect the same sort of thing.)

My most remarkable dead prayers have been ones where God answers, but I am looking the other way entirely. My prayer is not dead because God is unwilling to answer because I have not gritted my teeth and held my breath in "faith" in just the right way. My prayer is dead because it slips away into forgetfulness because I did not really care much about it and have moved on to some favored distraction or because I am looking for a particular kind of answer and God has something else, something better in mind.

This can be seen plainly in the prayers of the Jewish people in the first century. They were oppressed by the Roman government and prayed earnestly for deliverance. God sent them deliverance from Rome and so much more in Jesus, but because it was not in the way or time they expected, they refused his provision. Could this be the same problem for the churches that Luther talks about? Perhaps this lack of confidence and faith creates a blind rush towards our desires and away from God's intended provision. It's probably why James continues in 4:3 with how we ask amiss: "that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

How many times have I been the same way? Do I pray for bodily pains to leave me without looking for sins that may be causing them? Do I look for fellowship with other people without practicing the gifts he's given me to build up such a fellowship? Do I pray for other people to be kinder and easier to live with when I am unwilling to become the very thing I pray for? Perhaps many prayers lie on the floor if my life, dead from misuse and resistance to God's loving provision more than remaining unanswered.

Perhaps many of God's answers to my prayers do not simply scratch an itch I have, but cure the disease of which I am only concerned with a symptom. Perhaps God's answers always go a bit deeper than I would like into the needs of my life. Yes, there will be praise and "Amens" for God's great deeds and kindness. Perhaps I also need a bit of reflection and action related to God's answer to benefit fully.

Lord, I see that many of the things you want to give me, I have refused for a long time. My prayers were dead because my trust in you was lacking. I have become like the ungrateful servant who buried his talent because he did not trust his Master. How have I buried my prayers and your answers like this, out of mistrust? Too often I am unwilling to trust and obey, so your answers pass me by or at least lie unused. Forgive me. Lead me aright. Amen.

This reminds me that it is dangerous to pray and not live out the prayer. I find it easy to pray and forget rather than let my prayers move out into my life. As I remarked from Douglas Steere a while back, "If we ignore these leadings, they poison future prayer." I do not think God leads me into unceasing frantic activity (that I get from myself and other people), but I find prayer changes me and encourages me to change, sometimes in small ways, sometimes in large ways. To leave such changes unimplemented inoculates me against hearing God later.

Faith moves me to implement answered prayer like a man who sells everything to get a field with buried treasure in it. Following my own desires moves me to dread and resist God's direction given in prayer and so improvement and results in my life with God become scarce. When the answers are not what I hoped for or seem absent, I need to reflect on God's goodness and love and set aside my fears of losing things I don't really want anyway.