About Me

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I long to see Christ formed in me and in those around me. Spiritual formation is my passion. My training was under Dallas Willard at the Renovare Spiritual Formation Institute. One of my regular prayers is this: "This day be within and without me, lowly and meek, yet all powerful. Be in the heart of each to whom I speak, and in the mouth of each who speaks unto me."

Center Peace

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Humility: The Glory of the Creature



Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
Worship the LORD with gladness;
   come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the LORD is God.
   It is he who made us, and we are his;
  we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.  (Psalm 100:1-3) 

Whoever finds his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.  (Matthew 10:39) 
Humility, the place of entire dependence on God, is, from the very nature of things, the first duty and the highest virtue of the creature, and the root of every virtue.  And so pride, or the loss of this humility, is the root of every sin and evil.
 When the serpent breathed the poison of his pride, the desire to be as God, into the hearts of our first parents, that they too fell from their high estate into all the wretchedness in which man is now sunk. In heaven and earth, pride, self-exaltation, is the gate and the birth, and the curse, of hell.  Hence it follows that nothing can be our redemption, but the restoration of the 'lost humility, the original and only true relation of the creature to its God. And so Jesus came to bring humility back to earth, to make us partakers of it, and by it to save us. . . .  His humility gave His death its value, and so became our redemption. . . .  His humility is our salvation. His salvation is our humility.
[Humility] is not a something which we bring to God, or He bestows; it is simply the sense of entire nothingness, which comes when we see how truly God is all, and in which we make way for God to be all.
This humility is not a thing that will come of itself, but that it must be made the object of special desire and prayer and faith and practice.  (From Humility, Chapter 1, Andrew Murray)
 At the heart of praise and worship is this knowledge: the Lord is God alone.  A necessary attendant to this knowledge is the knowledge of my "creature-liness."  I am not my own.  I was made by God.  I belong to God.  I am "pastured" and sustained by God.  Praise and worship focused on God and not on performance - "How am I doing?", "How do I look?", "What do people think of me?" - teaches humility.  May God grant me the knowledge - the actual experiential, hands-on knowledge - that the Lord alone is God.


When Jesus talks about losing one's life, some parallels in surrounding literature are a centurion who betrays his army and country, or the daughter of a priest who becomes a whore.  The loss is to throw away what is precious to oneself; to render it completely useless.  In trying to make my own way, I render my life an empty betrayal; I throw away what is most precious in myself.  When I lay my life down as nothing before God, seeing it as refuse and dung in comparison to knowing him in Christ, I can begin to know what my life is for and what I have been made to do. Humility is losing my life so I can find my life.  May my life be nothing to me in the light of Christ my Lord.


Humility is simply the other side of faith.  When I "see how God truly is,"  humility is the "sense of entire nothingness" that comes.  It is not a matter of self-deprecation (which, in my experience, is a pride-based humility, as strange as that sounds) but a loss of self-consciousness and worry in the light of God's glory and goodness.  It is freedom.

This freedom was coaxed out of our hands by Satan.  The "high estate" of Adam and Eve was their humility. It is the true nobility of human beings.  In contrast, "self-exaltation is the gate and the birth, and the curse, of hell."  This is the great Fall of man: from humility to pride.  I am still facing the fall.  Like in free-fall, many no longer sense their downward plummet until they are caught by the wind of the Spirit which propels them upward into humility or hit the bottom of the fall of pride: misery and death.

When Paul says that everything that does not come from faith is sin, he is also saying that humility supports all other virtues.  Humility is the underside of faith, making virtue possible and rendering sin unappealing and ineffective.  When God is who he should be, then I can become who I should be.  Faith in God brings humility and humility supports faith.

Lord, let humility become the object of my desire and prayer and practice.  Let me give everything up for this pearl.  Work it into my life, Father.  I am yours.  Amen.


As you think about God or worship him or pray to him, do you ever become aware of a "sense of entire nothingness?"  Do you resist humility or embrace it?  Do you see it as painful necessity or your "true nobility?"

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Devoting Oneself to Humility: Life's Purpose

Morning


(Pray)
But from everlasting to everlasting
  the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
  and his righteousness with their children’s children—
with those who keep his covenant
  and remember to obey his precepts.
The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
   and his kingdom rules over all.
Praise the LORD, you his angels,
  you mighty ones who do his bidding,
  who obey his word.
Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
  you his servants who do his will.
Praise the LORD, all his works
  everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.


(Praise the Lord.  From the Psalm say to God, "Lord, you are . . . .")


Midday


“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.  


“I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.  


“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”  (Matthew 18:15-20)


(Think of a time in which you have protected from shame and embarrassment by a person correcting your privately.  Think about how carefully you've approached someone you deeply care about to correct them without offending or discouraging them.)


Evening


If we are indeed to be humble, not only before God but towards men, if humility is to be our joy, we must see that it is not only the mark of shame, because of sin, but, apart from all sin, a being clothed upon with the very beauty and blessedness of heaven and of Jesus. We shall see that just as Jesus found His glory in taking the form of a servant, so when He said to us, "Whosoever would be first among you, shall be your servant," He simply taught us the blessed truth that there is nothing so divine and heavenly as being the servant and helper of all. The faithful servant, who recognizes his position, finds a real pleasure in supplying the wants of the master or his guests. When we see that humility is something infinitely deeper than contrition, and accept it as our participation in the life of Jesus, we shall begin to learn that it is our true nobility, and that to prove it in being servants of all is the highest fulfillment of our destiny, as men created in the image of God.  (Andrew Murray, Humility, Introduction)


(Have you found times in which you see or experience humility as "something infinitely deeper than contrition" and as "our true nobility?"  How might your treatment of other people show such a humility that is "the very beauty and blessedness of heaven and of Jesus?")



†          †          †  


I think it may not be mere poetry  in Psalm 103 where "You mighty ones" are the ones "who do his bidding" and "who obey his word."  This contradicts how I picture mighty people.  I tend to think of people who do not have to answer to anyone.  I tend to think of people who make the rules rather than obey them.  I find myself thinking the heresy "Might makes right."


Such ideas spill over into my ideas about God as well.  When he is "high and lifted up," he is above most of my petty concerns and thoughts.  When he is a "mighty warrior," he overcomes his enemies with a mere breath.  There is truth in these statements, but only partial truth.  Jesus shows me a God who is so beyond me, he can care for each person, even each flower and bird, as if it were his very own special child or pet or plant.  Jesus shows a God who is not merely mighty, but mighty to save.  His power and might are not bent toward destruction, but toward kindness and restoration.


These mighty ones who do his bidding, these angelic hosts who are servants who do his will are made mighty by their humility.  The one they serve makes them mighty.  A person who serves only himself is not mighty, but selfish.  A person who makes his own rules is not great, but foolish.  Mighty ones are mighty because of the one they serve, who Himself is mighty through humility and its cousins: kindness, gentleness, and patience.


This humility commands that I show great kindness and patience to those who sin and who are caught in sin. It is no accident that Jesus tells me, "First take the plant out of your own eye, then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."  (Matthew 6:5)  One aspect of humility is realizing how deeply I am indebted to God for forgiveness.  Such forgiveness leaves me no room for vengeance or malice against my neighbor, whoever they are.


But more than that, I have a great responsibility to be a messenger of God's humility and kindness in all that I do.  I am to restrain (bind) evil where I see it hurting people.  Sometimes this calls for confrontation, but it is always with a goal of forgiveness and restoration.  I am to free (loose) the goodness where I see it in others. Such goodness leads to prayer and action in agreement with God and with one another.  Isn't this what God does as well?


If I am binding and loosening as God would have me to, then I am working with him.  What I bind and loose on earth will also be so in the heavens.  I will be working with him through his Spirit and in conjunction with "the mighty ones who do his bidding."  My heart will pray "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" and my hands will work out such a salvation in my life and in others with God's hands over mine.


This is the heart of "participation in the life of Jesus" through humility: God's hands working over mine.  Much like a child learning to write, a parent or teacher will place his hands over the child's to show how to hold the pencil and write the words.  Whatever work that I do is meant to be lined up with God's desires.  This is how Jesus lived.  His life was freedom, love, joy and peace.  This is the bliss of heaven, where his angels  are "servants who do his will."  This is what I am made for, my "true nobility."


Nobility is conferred with a title.  The title that grants me most dignity is not my job title or my education or my accomplishments or my honor in my family or friends.  The title that gives the most dignity and nobility to my life is "Servant of God and all people."  Humility makes this title real and not just words, so that the nobility is true and not mere pretense.  This is what life is for.


Lord, make me like Jesus, who came as the servant to all.  Let humility be a quality in my life, how I approach you and also everyone around me.  Make me mighty as you are mighty.  If I bind or loose, let it be with those mighty ones who do your will, so that whatever I do will not just be a game I play on earth, but a stronghold established in heaven.  I know I can do this only by remaining close to you, Father.  I pray this in your name, strong and mighty, meek and lowly.  Amen.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Devoting Oneself to Humility: Inspired by Jesus

Morning


(Pray)
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
  so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
  so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
  so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
   he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass,
   he flourishes like a flower of the field
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
   and its place remembers it no more.  (Psalm 103:11-15)


(Begin your day with worship.  Praise the Lord.  Thank him using this Psalm.)


Midday

"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.  What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost."  (Matthew 18:10-14)

(Think about a time when a pet dear to you wandered away or got lost.  Remember how concerned you were.)

Evening

In these meditations I have, for more than one reason, almost exclusively directed attention to the humility that becomes us as creatures. It is not only that the connection between humility and sin is so abundantly set forth in all our religious teaching, but because I believe that for the fullness of the Christian life it is indispensable that prominence be given to the other aspect. If Jesus is indeed to be our example in His lowliness, we need to understand the principles in which it was rooted, and in which we find the common ground on which we stand with Him, and in which our likeness to Him is to be attained.   (Andrew Murray, Humility, Introduction)

(Have you experienced a humility that brings "the fullness of the Christian life" apart from times of struggle with sin?  How does it remind you of Jesus "in his lowliness?")



†          †          †  

My son told me the other day that the major component of dust that we clean around the house is skin and hair.  With all the dust in our house, it seems that we are "returning to the dust" rather quickly.  What a reminder of what I am made of!  Much of what flies around in the air and finds its home under the beds and on top of window sills is what I am made of.


Humility has is foundation in dust.  Humus is "earth" in Latin.  Its roots are not so much about dust, but about being lowly or "on the ground,"  but dust is about as low as you go.  My weakness is not merely from my sinfulness, but is built into my being.  Such weakness is built in to inspire humility in my life.  I am dust.

When one of our dogs had puppies, one had a lot of health problems and had to be put down.  She was called "Grace."  Because she couldn't eat well and had so much trouble she took more time than the others and inspired our pity.  Our attention was on her because of her weakness, her "lost-ness."  We really hoped we could overcome them, but we couldn't.  That was a hard morning.

I imagine that the angels who "always see the face of [the] Father" always have his attention.  He is concerned about everyone, but especially his "little ones."  Their weakness inspires his pity, his mercy.  Like children that trust him to care for them and almost take it for granted (and actually do take it for granted at times), God's "little ones" have his attention and concern, much like Grace had ours.  God carefully watches those who humble themselves like children before him.

Jesus lets me see how humility draws that heart of God.  Lowliness keeps the Father closely following my life.  If I think I can "go it" without him, he will let me try.  If I remember how I am formed from dust and how my weakness shows my need of God, he will eagerly search for me, much like a shepherd feverishly looks for his lost sheep.  Jesus shows a God who cares deeply for humility.

One of the dangers of associating humility too closely with my sinfulness is that it becomes equated with humiliation.  Sometimes humiliation can bring about humility, but more often it brings resentment.  When God wants to humble me, he doesn't want to humiliate me.  He wants me to find fullness and life, not emptiness and misery.  He wants to lift me up, not break me.

Sometimes I cannot see the difference in what I experience, but I can tell the difference in what I hear as I go through such times.  What I mean is that the voice of God does not say "I told you so" or "Now you're getting what you got coming."  He aches and hurts with me.  The lower I go, the closer I find him.  Sometimes the pain blocks out his voice, but he never abandons me.  He always sends signs of his mercy.  I may not notice immediately, but in hindsight I am amazed at his provision.

When God humbles me, I find that joy is near.  I suppose that I may "humiliate" myself when I am being humble in some people's opinions, but that is what happens when you're in love.  That is what happens when you are truly grateful.  That is what happens when you've seen "the Pit" and been snatched from it.  That is what Jesus meant when he said, "Whoever humbles himself will be exalted, but whoever exalts himself will be humbled."  God humbles me with his greatness, his goodness, and his mercy, not with my emptiness, my unworthiness, and my misery.  Such lowliness which sees only God's greatness is that humility of Jesus.

Lord, bring me low by raising my vision of you.  You know how I am formed.  Show me the depth of your goodness, the breadth of your love, and the height of your glory in whatever way I can handle.  Today and forever.  Amen.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Devoting Oneself to Humility: Grace

Morning

(Pray)

The LORD works righteousness and justice
  for all the oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
  his deeds to the people of Israel:
The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
  slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
  nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
  or repay us according to our iniquities. (Psalm 103:6-10)

(Worship God through this Psalm.  Thank him for one thing mentioned.  Praise him, saying, "Lord, you are. . . .")

Midday

And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.  But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.  

Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!  If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire.  And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.  (Matthew 18:5-9)

(Think about welcoming a child or receiving someone as a guest.  Ponder the difference between that welcome as leading them astray or trapping them.)

Evening

In our ordinary religious teaching, the second aspect [humility from being a sinner] has been too exclusively put in the foreground, so that some have even gone to the extreme of saying that we must keep sinning if we are indeed to keep humble. Others again have thought that the strength of self-condemnation is the secret of humility. And the Christian life has suffered loss, where believers have not been distinctly guided to see that, even in our relation as creatures, nothing is more natural and beautiful and blessed than to be nothing, that God may be all; or where it has not been made clear that it is not sin that humbles most, but grace, and that it is the soul, led through its sinfulness to be occupied with God in His wonderful glory as God, as Creator and Redeemer, that will truly take the lowest place before Him.  (Andrew Murray, Humility, Introduction)


(How has God humbled you through his grace as opposed to through your sin?  What needs to be pruned from your life so that you can accept this grace for yourself and for others?)


†          †          †  

The law of Moses has long seemed a scattered collection of almost random laws and sayings to me.  I have not taken it too seriously because I have thought it had little to do with the gospel I now live under.  I have even thought that the law is opposed to the gospel.  Between these influences, I did not take much time or effort to understand the law, the wisdom, or the prophets.


Meditating on Psalm 119 changed all of that.  I saw and heard their love of God and his law.  I began to realize that the God who wrote the law was the same as the God of Jesus.  I began to realize that when he "made known his ways to Moses," his ways were "compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love."  I saw that this was the way to understand the law and my God.  He is a God of grace.


The harshest punishments come to people who lead others astray.  A person who takes advantage of another person's trust, especially a child's, is severely punished.  In God's kingdom, this is also the case.  Jesus rightly saw that a humble person is also a vulnerable person.  Vulnerability is  an essential part of humility.  It also draws me into God's grace.


One of the most wonderful aspects of grace is how it frees me from self-condemnation and self-absorption.  Grace opens my heart up to gratitude.  Grace opens my eyes to the goodness of God's ways.  Grace allows me to rest in God.  When my sin is my focus, I find regret instead of gratitude, God's ways worry me, and I am restless.  I think vulnerability will help me to receive this grace instead of being preoccupied with my sin.


So I see this movement.  As I come to understand that God's ways are full of compassion and grace, I am willing to be vulnerable.  As I become more vulnerable, I can face my sin by embracing God's grace.  When I step out on the strength of God's grace, I am once again amazed at how he faithfully responds and upholds me.  God's grace and my vulnerability work together to form a life of praise and thanksgiving.


Lord, open my eyes to your compassionate ways.  Open my heart with vulnerability to you.  Fill me with your grace and wash out my sin.  Let me live to worship you.  Amen.