A Long Obedience: Going Deeper to Stay with Jesus

Continuing discipleship with Jesus has to run deep to remain alive.  Jesus warns that trouble and persecution will be part of my life as his follower.  He warns that unless my joy in him runs deep, I will find myself falling away (Matthew 13).  The question of eternal security aside, I believe that what he means is that I need to follow him "deeper in and higher up" or I will not end up following him.

I am grateful that Jesus warns me about such things, but I am even more grateful for his promises in the midst of trouble.  He calls such a life "blessed" (Matthew 5:11-12).  In the Psalms, this promise is written "The Lord will watch over your life, he will protect you from all harm."  (Psalm 121)  When I read this I asked myself, "What is the life that he protects from all harm?"  For a believer, life transcends the body; it is more than biological existence.  It is the spirit that God keeps from all harm.  "At no time is there the faintest suggestion that the life of faith exempts us from difficulties.  What it promises is preservation from all the evil in them."  (Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, 42)

Continuing with Christ involves a putting aside of evil.  I believe this involves weeding and watering.  Weeding involves repentance.  It also involves perseverance.  The roots of the weed have to be pulled, not just the stalk.  If roots run deep, I have to dig around them first before I can pull them out.  What I mean is that a direct assault on my sins and faults rarely works.  I have to work my way around them. An example is the acronym HALT used for dealing with addictions.  It stands for Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, and Tiredness.  One way to dig around sinful behavior is to develop a lifestyle that limits these privations.

Watering is the process of filling up with the good things of God so there is no room for evil.  I do not need to get rid of all the evil around me.  That's impossible.  I need to rid myself of the evil inside of me.  One image I have found helpful is that my life is like a glass full of black coffee.  I picture adding ice to the coffee.  It gradually gets clearer and clearer.  "All the water in the oceans cannot sick a ship unless it gets inside.  Nor can all the trouble in the world harm us unless it gets within us."  (43)

Lately, I have been struggling with distrust.  I find myself angry and I hardly know why.  Something has got inside.  Whatever hurts I've had can be healed and helped by God.  He is my strength and shield.  When I dwell on them, I let them in.  I see I need more time with Jesus to clear out these wounds.

My Lord, cleanse me.  Pull me away from the hurts I want to rehearse.  Let me live in the shadow of your wings, aware of your goodness always.  Your grace is everywhere.  Your grace is sufficient.  Amen.