Overcoming Prayer: Teresa's Third Mansion

It is really a perfect misery to be alive when we have always to be going about like men with enemies at their gates, who cannot lay aside their arms even when sleeping or eating, and are always afraid of being surprised by a breaching of their fortress in some weak spot. Oh, my Lord and my God! How canst Thou wish us to desire such a miserable life as that?

(Teresa of Avila, St.; Peers, E. Allison (2010-10-07). Interior Castle (Kindle Locations 729-731). Wilder Publications. Kindle Edition.)

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A great moment in the life of a disciple of Jesus is the moment of overcoming.  In that moment grace is found to be sufficient for more than mere forgiveness.  In that moment God's pity on my ruined life is not the top rung of the ladder of spiritual growth.  In that moment I find that God grants some security in this life and that spiritual dryness does not always have to lead to backsliding.

One of the greatest barriers for spiritual growth in my life is the suspicion that things will never get better and will always get harder.  The struggle against the "pet sins" in my life have seemed to be endless.  The simple reason is that I have returned to them instead of leaving them.  In order to get over this "hump," I have needed a few things.  First, I needed to know that it is possible in God's grace to overcome sins in my life.  Next, I have needed to move beyond the desire to change into some real plans and actions.  Finally, as I began to overcome, I have experienced and reflected on a "security of conscience," as Teresa calls it. In this security I am not always armed and fearing "the enemy at the gates," but able to look forward and ahead to what God has worked out next in my life.

I have also had to come to terms with spiritual dryness in my prayer life.  As long as I blame God or circumstances for this dryness, I fall back into other forms of comfort, even sinful ones.  I have had to admit that such dryness comes mostly from how I want to deepen my practice of prayer and relinquish sins in my life, but do not take the steps to do it.  Like the rich young man who came before Jesus, I hesitate to so what he asks.  Even when I have ventured to "try out" what is needed, I lack the patience to wait at the door of the King.  I think I deserve to be invited immediately in.  Really this dryness is a time when I will develop either humility or restlessness, depending on my attitude toward the Lord.

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Overcoming has not so much to do with the enemies outside, but the enemies within.  Although I must first want to overcome sins in my life, I must move beyond desire into intention and action.  An overcoming life will look different from one that does not even if the desires are similar.  Spiritual dryness tests such desire.  When trust moves my heart away from restlessness, I will find that God will give "peace and resignation to His will," even if prayers continue in dryness for a time.  Such peace will be more welcome than even great moments of prayer.

I must desire to move from struggle into God's security enough to take action with God in my life.  He will meet me there.  I must not mistake spiritual dryness for God's lack of concern and attention, but as a moment to be humble before him, waiting for his response and strength to endure.  God's overcoming grace will come.  My part is not to leave the door before it opens.  "Do not suppose God has any need of our works; what He needs is the resoluteness of our will."  (ibid, 790-791)

Lord, grant me the grace to be an over-comer, a permanent pillar in your temple worshiping and praising you.  Amen.